Bloodlust

Chapter 1 New Stars are Born

2010-05-01T16:24:00.001+08:00

“There is another mystery case happen to the city of Belhag, there are currently no sign of life surviving there, and we even heard that human beings who use to be staying at there being slaughter at there, do things look so ugly at there? No people ever dare walk in to the place even a step towards the city right now, and now being stated as the ghost city, reporting this news, Precia from 789 channel.”

-On HQ Office-
Beep, the television of the High General Eric had being off while he was looking towards the new candidate of the army to reinforce his new squad, the division 10 of his team, DotZ squad, led by his newest student and he felt there is no use of her, Alicia, in the squad with her magic power, magnification detection, the ability to sense enemy within a certain range, with specify class and ability while on a trigger mode on dangerous situation, but consumption rate is 4-5 times per day, it consumed too much of physical strength and mental energy.

He pressed the button on the phone, “Please call new team leader for me, what’s her name again? Something start with A, oh yeah, Alicia. Ask her to come forward to my office immediately,” asked HG Eric.

“Yes, right away sir,” his secretary Lu.

Knock knock, “May I come in, Sir?”, “You may come in” said HG Eric while marked some elites going to employed to her squad. “Ah, Alicia my new student, here I have pick some elites to your squad, with the current backup of vice-leader Rachel, mechanic enchanter JY and tactician Jacky I think it probably should be enough for the whole team to start off, you can always add your own recruits on every journey you make, but you can’t request anymore from the HQ. By now, you should know the elites from my team 1, MK is such a proud student of mine, she expand the squad intelligently, and now her squad is the strongest team in the HQ,” He marked the last person, and had an evil smile from inside his heart, “Elite of the elites, the never use soldier, Hahahaha, everything is going according to plan, just wait for her to accept the assessment, I will send all of them to hell who attempted to danger my position in the past specially the two unranked soldiers that I hate”. Alicia looked at HG Eric and gave him a gentle smile, accepted the list for her new squad, made a bow towards the HG and walk towards the door. HG Eric seemed to be so proud of his selections to her while he forgot to mention something to her, while he heard the door being open, click , he interrupted her movement,

“Oh ya, your team will have a new assessment as soon as you can assemble them well, as you must remember, every of my team units under my leadership always come out with the best solutions without any serious injuries, so I hope to see you doing the same thing too, I don’t want my team to be look down so badly in the HG meeting.”

“Yes HG, I won’t let down the spirit of the your leadership and your teaching towards me, and is there anything else HG?” said Alicia. “There is nothing else, you may leave,” with her shadow slowly disappeared from his eyes, in his mind was eager to get rid of her by giving her to investigate the case of Belhag city, and never had to see her and those two brats again if those two brats passed the test first, followed by a big laughter in his heart.

-On the hallway after seeing the HG-
Walking through the hallway, one of Alicia’s comrade, Jacky and also known as her beloved, who had being together since the start of the army, waited for her at the entrance of the building for a long time. When Alicia saw him, she straight ran towards him and hugged on him. Jacky ask, “How was it, what did the HG say to you? Did he assign some good elites to your squad?”

With a nod on her head, “Yeah, HG gives me 2 members only who he said was elites, but something very unusual about these two guys, besides their name, there is no specialty on them, no rank at all and no classes at all, I remember team leader 1, MK shows me the new employment paper recently, which has so many special ability and a rank B for starters, it was so amazing to have such talented member, and I also remember that there are ranks and classes, rank from F to SSS and there are those SA rank which among the best of the rest, and all those classes specification.”

Jacky remained unknown of what Alicia said, “Is it she added on to herself as a reference for the future battle?” Alicia shook her head, continued explaining, “There is no way she had all the information without looking at the new member before, I am very sure about it, well, we don’t need to argue at here, once we meet them I will write it up my own as for my own reference,” with a gentle smile to her face warmed Jacky’s mind and soul and all those unwanted question. “Well lets go find them in their dorms just right up ahead,” the two agreed on the suggestion and walked out together.

-Outside the HQ office’s fountain/garden, walking towards the dorm-
“Oh ya, what about the assessment?, didn’t he mention anything about it?, I probably have to start to make some tactics for our future battle already after I see the new 2 members, by the way, 2 was too little to give other enemy opportunity to get near you and,” Alicia interrupted the conversation with a smile while looking at the scenery of the mountain far side, “Isn’t it a nice view at here? This place holds an unforgettable key memory between you and me, which you chased me after knowing me for 1 year, and I accepted you, and now, we will going to face the toughest challenge ever,” Piling up her sad mood, “ Yet when I know I will get promotion to be a team leader, I know that I would pass through this place often, so every time I pass through, I will be thinking of you, and make a prayer that you will be safe elsewhere. And in this situation there is no exception too, we will overcome anything if you are always right beside me, leading me with the right tactics, and the love bond between both of us, and I believe that those elites HG gives me sure is quite good soldiers, you worry too much Jacky, we have to face the current problem first while not thinking too far ahead yet.” Jacky was so shocked and surprised after what Alicia told him, he looked straight into Alicia eyes, hold her hands, “I love you, Alicia,” and ended up with a kiss. After that, they stopped a while, Alicia made a prayer to the fountain, “May we pass all the danger together as a team,” then continued to walk to the dorm up ahead.

Jacky looked up the sky, “Woah is almost sunset, we have walked a long path isn’t it ?We have to hurry to meet up them and let them know they have being taken to the squad, sure they will be happy to know the news,” As they arrived at doorsteps of the dorm, Alicia looked around checking the condition around the dorm, “Hey Jacky, have you notice that this place is rather an odd place to have a dorm having such disgusting weird of mana flowing by, and look the tree is dying, the floor have a lot of cracks, and listen,” pong-ping, pong-ping, A gun fired was heard by both of them outside the dorm, “What was going on inside there? They are having training in these hours? I thought everyone should have their rest time right now,” Alicia wondered. As they walked into the dorm, just outside the dorm just around the corner, they missed out the sign which had being fallen to the ground because no people had ever stepped in for ages. It written there “Unwanted Soldier Camp”.

-Inside the dorm-
When they arrived inside, there were two people training in the ring, a very intense pressure fight, fast and furious, and yet they two looked exhausted, and there is 6 people doing some analysis on their training in order to counterpart the movement of the two up there, while some of them minded their own business as they just stay locked in their own room. Jacky shouted “Attention, everyone formed up,” No people was listening to what Jacky yelling, everybody was too concentrated on the battle up there, he scratching his own head and looked to Alicia, and she is looking amaze by the two guys training too, it almost like totally being attract to both of the guys, there is nothing that Jacky can do to stop her right now. In the mean time, a gust of wind flow towards the building, there is a strong flow of high thick mana, and triggers the magical power inside Alicia to activate. Everyone at the ring was shocked that there are two people standing at the entrance of the training ground of theirs, and the mana flew in makes the two exhausted people on the stage eagerly want to anticipate the real battle and slowly the mana flow makes them energetic again.

“There is two enemy spawns lurking around the place, rank D-” mourning in the mouth of Alicia. Jacky straight away drag Alicia to the corner waiting her to gain consciousness. When she returns to normal with a bit of stress and tired on her face, she makes an evil smile and say, “lets see what they abilities when they have to deal with two rank D- enemy, this should turn up very interesting in favor of mine as I could make some adjustment to my new squad, with all those unranked soldiers, Jacky lets hide and see out the situation since they can’t hear your command, teehee,”

“There will be not much chance to gain an advantage position against those D- rank’s enemy with no rank at all, and how sure are you to know that those two on the ring is the one who will be employ to your squad?” Jacky replied with such an uncertain tone, with the mind thinking, “Why HG want to employ two unranked soldier to the squad? Is it he plotting something bad on the assessment towards the new squadron? It can’t be, I have to investigate myself what’s the assessment coming for the future of my own beloved.”

“Never judge girl’s sixth sense, most of the time it will be very accurate,” eagerly anticipating the battle, looking out towards the battlefield.

-Outside the dorm-
One guy is holding a sword and the other one holding guns in his hands charge forwards. They slowly gain sight on the enemy, two monsters standing on the ground, leaking out some dark unknown liquid from their mouth, digesting the ground to little holes.

“Yucks, what is those monster out there, they may look like a dog or a turtle, the liquid are digesting the floor, is it acid? What on their mouth, is like attempting to breath out something,” Alicia whispering to Jacky.

“Oh no, it seems like the two enemy is confirmed as dark slinger, the two guys charging forward will have more disadvantage, they will perform a magical breath call “Dark Breath” right now, it can blinds the enemy for a short amount of time and rampage towards their pray with a single blow attack call “Death Touch”, it is a combo attack by the dark slinger, there are not much chance the unranked guys can stand against them,” while talking Jacky took his stun gun up trying to help them, attempting to rush out is blocked by Alicia, “Listen carefully, if they don’t know how to defend themselves from this situation, how would they survive in the squad with dangerous assessment in the future? If they are fallen, we can still find other people to join in to the squad, this is a gift from HG, and I generally accepted the gift, now is time to test it,” Jacky backs down after hearing the advice from Alicia.

Outside on the battle, the two guys didn’t attempt to see out what the enemy going to do, just charge forward towards it, while they can’t see that they are communicating through soul link. “”Hey M, lets do it out of the teaching of the boring class, want to give it a shot?”” the guy holding the sword suggested. ““Not bad N, our fighting style on a group battle or even head-on is just hard to be read by opponent, lets do it,”” the guy holding the gun, M said so. Suddenly M hold his ground while N charges forward, enchanting “Comes forth the power of lightning, accept the offer of the blade and strikes out the enemy, “Lightning Blade”,” N’s sword charge up with lightning spell, with the atmosphere turning into light purple color following up the lightning sword fading away slowly from the position of Alicia and Jacky, thrusting towards the opponent, slashing the scenery from light to dark. Right before N’s sword reaching the enemy, the dark slingers starting to collect the thick weird mana surrounding the dorm, “Haha, newbies won’t stand a chance against us, your mana flow towards the sword is too weak I can even stand and cast my magic, without any fear, should you be afraid and retreat? Here comes our combo attack, “Dark Breath Pair Attack”, no one will stand a chance against us even a B rank soldier, what about the tiny unranked soldier like you two?” they chewed their mouth, slowly blew out the breath.

While in the hiding place, “Oh my god!!”, Jacky is in a panic situation, he wanted to help out them as he knows there is no chance that they will survived even a single dark slinger combo attack now they are pairing up and he also sensed that N’s flow of mana on his sword is very low, “Dear, don’t block me, this really not the time for stopping me, there will be no chance they will survive with the pair up of combos from dark slingers, they will be KILLED.”

Alicia still holding back on Jacky firmly, “Didn’t you forget what I just told you just now?, and look, one of them is staying behind, they didn’t charge together suddenly, what do you think they are up to right now Jacky and why they separate so far apart, swordsman didn’t have an advantage so near to a dark slinger right? Do they take serious precaution about the skills enemy posses?”

Jacky just aware that what Alicia telling is truth, he started to think back what he learnt from his master, Lord Bowen, he explained “No one ever try this battle plan before against the dark slingers, specially pushing a swordsman to the forward line without any hesitation, in the history of battle plan, there also didn’t have such formation. Interesting idea, I wonder what is the ability of the gunsman?”

“Shh, keep our voice down, I heard some enchanting from the gunsman,” Alicia silenced up Jacky and they two continue to look forward to the battle. “The breeze from the east, the snow from the west, purify the polluted air, “Fairy Snow”,” with a tease smile on M, “Swallowing the past, enduring the current, absorb the snow by offering gunmanship, “Icicle Shot”,” two combination magic, purify the breath with a sneak attack during the mix, cause the dark slingers unprepared, hanging them in the free air of snow with two lance created by M’s gun, ““N, is your turn, finish it up””.

“What such nice breeze we are having right now, do you feel so Jacky?, he sure have a nice aura,” Praising the gunsman by Alicia while feeling the breeze flowing around.

“By judgment I shall repel, “Tempest Storm Lightning Blade”,” slashing the dark slingers into 2 parts with just one blow, N collapsed down to the ground after finishing the slash.”Unbelievable! He sure is a high talent soldier,” Both Alicia and Jacky speechless while seeing the aura of the N’s swordsmanship, with the tremendous aura spilling out from the storm. After not long ago the snow disappeared from nowhere, and M collapsed to the ground too, and some weird fog appeared and blocked the road path towards the HQ building.
Alicia and Jacky quickly rushed out and look at their condition while M is viewable. “Hey are you alright?” while she holding on to M, “What are you doing Jacky?, look for the other guy, they two posses high level magic, I could not believe it, such powerful soldier why don’t HG employ it to MK’s team, instead of ours?”

“Maybe the flow of mana inside them is too weak, and just had intense training which makes them exhausted. You and I also can feel it, they can really perform a well balance much combo, but after that, the two straight away collapse to the ground, or maybe there is some unknown secret inside HQ. I can’t really look for him, the fog is too thick right now I even can’t see the path in front, if we get ambush we stand no chance against any enemy, fast get in to the dorm first, we will think of something after the fog is dismiss,” Jacky looking around for N in some distance between him and Alicia but as far as he concern, he is too far out from their position. “Someone is coming from the far side, dear, lets go back inside,” Jacky runs to Alicia side and help her carried M to a safer position inside the dorm.

“There are two shadows slowly appear in the fog, it is heading towards the dorm,” Alicia whisper to Jacky when they looked outside. As the shadow become fully viewable, there is a third person who was being carried by one of the two people heading towards the dorm. “Hey Jacky, look, is the swordsman, and MK is with him, with another person, I never see him before, but the uniform,”, they two quickly rushed out to greet MK, while getting closer to them, “Oh my, Alicia, what a mess in here, did those two won the battle against the dark slingers?” MK asked.

“Yes, they two are not normal soldier in the squad as I assume, and who is this guy beside you?, and more importantly who are they?” Alicia replied.

“My my such an energetic and reliable new leader, I will answer you in details once we get inside to the dorm, this is not a safe place to have a conversation,” said the guy who carry N. They move on inside the dorm and put the two guys on the bed. “Well I will introduce myself, I am HG Dicy, I will leave MK to do the explanation, while I will heal them up for you, it will takes some time and please do listen carefully to MK explanation,” as Dicy finished his talking, he took out his magical staff, healing both M and N. “Before the healing is complete, I would like no people to disturb me as well as let them have a full rest, I expect you three can do a simple task?”

Both of them looked to MK, “Well, lets head outside the room, we won’t want to interrupt HG to heal up those guys, we will act like guards outside,” replied MK, all three of them bow to Dicy and went out the room.

-Outside the room while guarding-
“He is the latest new HG included in HQ, his ability to read the future of this world and linked to others world outside our reach. Since 1st month of his promotion, he comes forward and have a chat with me privately, he told me that there will be a new group will be establish in 3 months time, and many more, but still, the new group really happen, but I never thought that the leader will be my closest friend Alicia,” MK looked at Alicia and continue explaining, while Alicia rub her own head and smile back to MK, “Those two guys in there, one is Nicholas the swordsman and the other is Martin. Nicholas possess the ancient-Fulka battle style, whereas Martin is ancient-Maldi type gunsman, is those two are employ to your squad Alicia?” when MK finish talking, Alicia quickly checks her list and very surprise and pleased that the two names Nicholas and Martin really is in her squad, she close up the list, watery tears on her eye side wanting to drop out, “MK, those guys make potential threat to the HQ right?”

“No is not that reason, is because HG Eric feels they two have the flair and high latent power to threaten his place as a HG and effects his promotion to higher level, and throughout the thinking of that, he disqualifies this two soldier to this area straightaway after seeing their performance, addition to that, they perform badly in the entry promotion test, and remember that, those two guys lying at there, they carry themselves a lot of burden from the past, they suffered a lot of humiliation and jeering from opposition in our army to come this far. As you come across your assessment, you will find out what lies ahead on your team, study them throughout the battle, journey and chatters, use them wisely, that is all I can tell you right now,” Alicia face expression does not feel so happy about what she heard about those two guys being rejected by the HG she admired for such a long time. Jacky tried to cheer her up. “Oh ya I miss another point, if they want to make up to the squad, they have to pass the test that setup for them for tomorrow.” Sad news just won’t stop coming to haunt Alicia, as she still worried what kind of test that HG Eric setup for them, time and fitness is a key point for the both of them.

Meanwhile far up on the mountain peak, “Tsk, the two guys there, have quite a strong magic, I have to report to the master and inform him to take out them quickly before they recover their own gemstone which interrupts the master to control this world,” a mysterious summoner who was assigned closely to look at the HQ new talent and bring them to darkness path aid the dark master when they are immature to the army yet.

2010-05-01T11:13:00.001+08:00

Hey guys it is being a while since I updated my blog, and yet I get very lazy to do so, but now I am back, I being writing up a novel, I will be posting up as soon as I beautify it, it should be up by tonight. Hope you guys can give me some good feedbacks ~

2009-08-17T22:02:00.002+08:00

Getting back together with her already a month, this time is very different with the previous two times, I know it because, I also can feel that she change a lot, even do I. Sharon Low Sze Hean, really thanks a lot for coming back to my side, where I needed you so much. Seriously, I really tried to attempt to forget you in the previous month before being in this situation, but at last, I gave up for forgetting you, you are really truly the girl that I love the most and the only girl I wanted to be together.

Getting back together right now is quite hard for us, because she took a while to patch back the heart of mine. We had our promise together, she made a lot of sacrificies to this relationship right now, same goes do I( but comparing the sacrificies, she change due to all the situation we learnt together).

Is already being 4 years, August 2005 was the year we started together, passing through all the test and blockage that god set for us. I really could not believe it myself that I am that young, 20 years old, getting a very caring, understanding and lovely wife. She really change a lot for me, I really appreciate that what she had done for me so far, and for the future we set together. And for the first time ever, she promises me that, she would never leave me alone again, all she done just for the sake of me. I really really am touched for the act of her. I by here promises myself, and towards her, I really will take up the responsibility for taking care of her, protecting her for my entire life, although is quite young to decide the future right now, we are working hard towards it.

I really do hope this is the last and forever being together, I really have a great belief that this time, really is the time ~ that the 4 years ago the promise will be getting true, not in 6 years time, but right now. I really don't want to leave with regretness inside my heart, by leaving you behind yet again, anything, we will manage it together every single time when this moment starts.

LOVE YOU my dear WIFE, Sze Hean.

2009-08-01T02:40:00.002+08:00

Well, still as the same, freaking boring days at here right now, make me didn't sleep well also, hard to go in to the bed. So long don't really update because there are nothing to be updated too =X.

Haha, now come to the mind that friends are so important to each human being. Lets list out my friends and I will comment about them.

1) Martin Ch'ng -- > Well this guy, how to say, if I didn't started to play DoTA, then I won't be able to know him, guess what, we know each other for 4 years already, treat him as a buddy for life, don't know whether he does that too a not. He knows what I am thinking most of the time, same goes to me, fate to know each other. He is such a friendly guy who carries a lot of uncommon materials to irritates you, but in the mean time, when he does that, he brings out a lot of meaning of living and real facts. This is what I thought. We do share a lot of common things, lifestyle, experiences and friends. Sometimes people do think that we are gay but we aren't. Can say if not him, I wont be able to find out my true self. We also see through each other's changes while growing up to be a mature guy. Endless crapping to end with, we had crazy minds of idea for the future, that the way we relax.

2) Sharon Low -- > She is now part of my life already, hopefully will ended in the way I wanted and the way she wanted the most. Well as the first day we know each other, that time still as friends, she always comes to me with a sad story, and I always tried my best to comfort her back and give her the right opinion. When started to chase her and she being my gf, she taught me a lot of things, eg. how to comfort back a girl in the correct way and how to think from other people point of view, being with her brings so much fun and care for each other. Althought bad things usually do happen in every couple life, we already cope and manage with a lot of things and finally I feel that is time that we seriously think about the future. Hope she does think this way ^^. I really do miss her so much right now. I still remember all the things while being with her, it brings me kind of happiness inside my heart, I hope do share the happiness with her forever.

3) Nicole Yeoh -- > A pleasent girl to be friends with, always covers up all her bad moods and feelings don't want to let other people knows. Always come with a gentle smile which gives me a nice feeling also, so miss the days in HSC while we are studying together. Think back of it, there are many stories behind our fate to become father and daughter. Well, as a conclusion, if there are no friends there spreading that I wanted to chase her before, our relationship right now won't be as strong as we thought. Care her as a daughter, owed her a lot of things already, hopefully I got one day will slowly return her the feel of a family.

4) Nicole Sim -- > Such a nice friend to have, I really asked the god, why don't you let me know her earlier before she went to KL. Knowing her adds another new chapter to my life, she is quite understanding sometimes, and quite annoying sometimes. Feel that she and Martin do share a common thinking, always shot people with facts and points. She did share a part of my life while I am in a low mood condition last year, really thanks to her for waking me up and live on. Miraclly we know each other by net again, and meet up last year end and having a great trip together. Hope that this year end trip will be even better then the previous one.

5) Chester Ch'ng -- > He is an up and down friend. Do remember last time I and him having quarrel because of Hui Ying and some misunderstanding and miscommunication, make us didn't talk for a few months, but since that, he is truthly a good friend to me. Well, frankly speaking, we always hang out together and having breakfast together. Feels like old folks act having breakfast together. He also share a lot of experience with me together, brings me to see the world and knows people's intention so clearly. He is a full minded focus person, who focus on a thing and wont give up.

6) May Ling -- > She is my good sister. At first we knew each other, we didn't have much topic to talk, like a big wall blocking up each other. Maybe that time she less online and didn't have much time. As in my memories, after half a year later, she online back and miraclly, I forget who she is that time, like a brand new friend to me. Guess what, now she had anything will come and talk to me, same goes to me having trouble will look for her and talk out together, very dependant on each other. Confident build up from what we chat from last time till now. And thanks her for giving me a part of my life as a sister. Oh ya, she is quite a busy type girl, always wants to make herself busy while her mind does not wanted to.

7) Alicia Lim -- > How should I say her, for me, she still the same old naughty girl I know her since last year. She does change due to someone, but for me, the way she chats to me, give me the feel that she is still the same old self. She does crap a lot, sometimes when boring will miss her and feel likes want to go and chat with her. She do care friends who care about her, well I guess I cant say much, she quite care me as a son. Recently cant chat with her already, maybe out of topic and she is busy.

8) Alex Choong -- > He is the first friend I have in Australia, although we came from same secondary and college, no luck on being friends that time. A guy full with experiences and a lot of motivation/passions while doing his own things. Staying together with him teaches me a thing, how to save and being a good buyer. He also had a strong self believe on himself, but still kinda worried when come to making a decision for some situations.

9) Keit Ch'ng -- > Martin's cousin, also know from playing games. For me he is a buddy type friends who always stands out for a friend when having trouble. A great friend to be with, crazyness inside him brings a lot of happy and joy together with Martin and of course myself, we attempted some crazy things together. Quite a hard sleeping person, likes to sleep often and makes Nicole so mad when she wanted to call him to wake up. Quite a gamer while comes to h0liday and likes to enjoy his life.

10) Sabrina Loi -- > At starting, feels like she is a hip hop girl, haha, don't know why got this feel, maybe because of her display picture on MSN. Passionate girl to be friend with, had a lot of self believe on herself. Don't mad at me, I feel that, she is a NO FEAR girl, does not fear of anything comes to her, she just solve it with a calm mind. O.o Don't know is right or wrong.=X We do chat a lot and I hope she will get the guy she wanted, not like the previous one who hurts her badly.

11) Cindy Lee -- > Emotional girl I can say, maybe she had some similarity with me, always like to be emo, maybe, not sure. Can say quite naughty girl, always come and bully me with things that is hard to solve, but eventually she has her own weakness that does not wanted so many people to know. A kind friend who does not like other friends to worry about her, and always come to me when having trouble, maybe I am a good listener. The name Cindy, is I think for her, and she likes it so much.

12) Yan Xiu -- > A funny and cheerful girl to started with, she always brings laughter to me, always have a nice smile to me while seeing her. ( didn't have many chances to meet her but I know she likes to smile ) She has a very deep personality that I think very few person can notice it quite clearly, even do I. I know one guy sure know her personality. When comes to trouble, a reliable girl to go to as she likes to care her friends well. A strong girl too, feels like in the future she will be very successful. Nowadays, if Martin beside her, I feel like chatting with the second Martin, but without him, feels nice and calm to talk to.

13) Alicia Chong -- > A very trouble-minded girl, always full with trouble and don't know what to do with it. Well, I know I really can't give out the best solution to her yet she still come and tell me the problems. She feels quite children kind of feel, like a cute little girl wants a guy to hug her. Don't get mad yaa someone who see this.

14) Jeff Chin -- > The longest friend I had ever known, the very first friend I had. 14 years so fast passed through our eyes, being through together a lot of things. Gamer minded as he always focus on his own game and rarely comes to caring when in game mode. Freaky guy I can concluded him. Nothing much on him, maybe a bit of awareness that he is studying hard now ? ? Probably yes probably not =X.

15) Bernice Ewe -- > Well know her not long ago, quite a money minded girl who always counted her own money well and manage it. Maybe that why she choose accounting as her main. Cheerful girl and treats her friends around her well. Talks to her give me a warm feel and her smile is very nice to see.

Will continue others later, is already 6am, and I didn't sleep?? nahh, I awake already and finish up the blog =D.

2009-07-18T23:02:00.003+08:00

One month didn't update, now too bored already, so decided to start updating my blog. So as a summary of the update, I went to Tasmania for a week, was having a great time with Bernice, Alex, Feng Tian, Regi, Roy and YY. Thanks guys for bringing a fun trip together.

Guess what, one month a lot of things change quickly, many things happen again, can't describe the feelings inside me. Firstly, I was so happy, for such a long time, Sabrina and I finally chat back, it was like 6 months ago last contact before I left Penang for Melbourne, and she having difficulties to online. Well I can say, welcome back =D, damn missing the days last year while sharing our life together.

Secondly, Happy belated birthday to Nicole Sim, although already told her at phone, still at blog say a happy birthday, if not her, I think I don't know myself got that old and "cham hei". Wei Nicole, 19 years old already, please be mature a bit, don't be that childish already.

Thirdly, Happy Anniversary to my daughter, Nicole Yeoh, one year with bf de =D ^^.

Continue with the results release of mine, done pretty well except for one subject, sweat, FAIL again, not sure if I really got the potential to write a good program. Then I found out something that is not really the right time should know, but since already know the things, dedicated me to go and study even well now!

Ups and downs of life, never going to be underestimate again, it really changes my life since I know something so secret and wanted to know it for such a long time, I hope everyone out there, please appreciate things that is right beside you, and appreciate the friends around you.

I very appreciate what I had right now, with the best friends like Martin, C, Keit, both Nicole, both Alicia, Sharon, Coco and Sabrina. =D

2009-06-06T21:55:00.003+08:00

Got the answer =D, haha, welcome to the single minded life of NICHOLAS =D !!

2009-06-06T19:23:00.002+08:00

Today just finish my very first exam of the year, feel like doing not so well, didn't have much confident on it also, but not much things I can change the fact already, already over and I had try my best.

Well, as far I can said is, I was having a couple of nice weeks together with her, full of laughter and joy, feels like the relationship getting better and better as a friend, even though I have no confident at all of success for getting her to accept me as her bf, due to some reason that I had suffered from past years, due to the reason that maybe I am too needed her to be by my side, and yet she had done it, always supporting me take good care of me,and mostly of all due to the reason that I too love her until once again, the shadow of fear and scare all come out at once.

Now, I really don't know what to do at all, I had told her everything that I felt inside my heart, even the negative side of me, and yet she still so calm and nicely treated me, telling me that nothing will happen. I really feel so glad to know her from the beginning. An answer to resolve all of this going to come soon, always take a deep breath after thinking of that, feared of the answer possible? or maybe I scared that leaving you? Wondering eagerly.

I also feel that I am silly, but then, I just thought out myself, and to everyone out there, no matter what the outcome of this relationship, good or bad, I wont ever chase another girl already. I really getting tired of realizing things growing surround me, I just want to concentrate on only you and my studies. To tell the truth, even she was shocked by me, she thought that she was the one effecting me to make this decision, but no. Not you, everything just lead to something that I had suffered before from the past, effecting me very badly. I have lost a lot of trust due to the things that I had made last time. I lost all of my self believe that I will make it to the end without any help.

To tell the truth, Xiao Jin, some of your words very warms me up, feels like being so close with you, I respect all the things that you had done while we are together, spending a lot of time being together although we are not couples, studying together, appreciate well. Although got one day you told me the truth of yourself, I was very glad that you could tell me that, and some of it lead to a painful session to you and to me also, so happy that we two can communicated well. I can get over it very fast, because hurting is the main thing I suffered most of the time, and now passing time with you, really comfort, Xiao Jin, I do really hope that you one day will accept me and live together with promises and everlasting.

Life great at here right now, having the second exam soon, HD I am coming for you, work hard to get it, to all of you out there, just good luck on your exams and take care yourself.

2009-05-23T09:24:00.003+08:00

Good morning, =D, today is such a nice morning, and I woke up so early to study, feels so great, air so refreshing, =D, guess I need to say is exam so near and I haven't prepare for it yet until starting from today I have to study for a bit more then usual. Finish my study then I decided to blog up something.

Raymond Lam -- Let's Get Wet, try listen =D

Yesterday I talked to her, about something that decided me from the past to now, and towards the future the "I" from the inside will always to be the same. Found out that, when someone gets hurt from the past, will appreciate what is going on beside him/her, realization of mine become more insane, uncommon and immunologic ? Don't know what happen already. That is what I know and thought it out for such a sufficient time.

Even though that happen, she still wants me to get on with my life, well, surely life's goes on, no one can stopped his/hers life so easily except "no need I mention". Heart getting the pain from the pressure again, didn't mention to anyone else, if mention also didn't mention on what causing it already. Just put it at here, eventually, I sure will surpass it, god damn.

M now nudging me not to even give up a slight hope on getting a new relationship, "relationship" this word I manage it quite a long time, bugging up the old one, catching up the new one. Oh man, she asked "what if a girl suddenly appear in front of me and tell me that I had good feelings on you, what should you do?", guess what I answered =X , "Sorry, but I appreciate it, there is someone inside my heart right now that I love so much and cant leave her for the moment, she is still the one I care and love so much", this really pops out from my head and the final answer. M you happy liao, =D soon will get what you wanted for such a long time =X because M only knows who is her =X.

Feels like another foolish expression ya, stupid decision again. So how you guys doing out there right now, very long didn't see you all online and talk already. Sure it is being tough and hard exam, everyone good luck =D.

Quotation, Why everyone sure ask me about my gf ? hmmmm, wondering, seems like my gf's topic sure a hot one.

2009-05-19T16:42:00.002+08:00

This few days a lot of junk came out from my brain, O.o, don't know why, feels like want to throw it away but yet I think is so valuable until I don't dare to think even one second, Blah, I don't know what I am writing right now.

Bad day for me today, want to start doing my programming assignment and yet the University website decided to undergo maintainence, wtf , haiz, break up my mood of eagerness want to do only. Tonight find the mood to do first .... haizz

Gosh, this few days my blog = crap, great, good,wonderful, excellent, marvelous, perfect.

Nothing to write, well, got one thing I sure want to say out, my maths get 25/30 !!! hehe, great, I love it, I don't expect that to be so high! To the ones I recently talked to, please take good care of yourself more, I am really looking for ward to go back and find you. For the love ones, specially that asshole M and K xD, gambateh on EXAMS =D we go and conquer the world ya =D

2009-05-18T23:36:00.002+08:00

Quite moody today, went through a lot a lot of trouble to myself, where I know there is a trap that had been set already, I still go and walk through it, haha, Damn stupid I am. Great, another failure means I have to really wake up myself not to so in to the thing I am looking for already.

Why I always get so bad luck on it, Shit man, felt that I wanted to take myself and sink in the ice cold water to calm down myself. Things I had done today, the good thing is I studied my Circuits and System, understand a lot more already, great, done a couple of maths question, =D

Currently listening to Buono!- My Boy

Don't worry I will be fine, motivate myself to study already =D

2009-05-04T19:21:00.002+08:00

Currently listen to - Shouganai Yume Oibito

Long time didn't blog already, I guess well this is the time to put something up. So, for the nearing condition, I have two more weeks to the final and well, pray to the god that I done enough to get my results pass, specially Programming, I very hate it. Hope I wont see the programming next semester!

Nothing much to say, frustrated with assignments and project now, boys and girls please take care of yourself

2009-04-29T18:53:00.002+08:00

Days have passed since I have done a big decision on my life, I am now overcoming a new obstacle. Feels quite relaxing when I knowing that I am going to have a new life at Australia. A brand new one, with quiet and peace. Not even thinking of anyone specific, even I miss someone, I won't voice it out already, just kept it in my heart and think only. "As for one word, I really miss her, who is her some knows, didn't see her for days already" There are some sentences I very agree with Martin, you want to let her feel that you are caring her then she will slowly realize and loves you, show your care and love to your love ones and not to force them to be with you. =D

Hesitation increase day by day, many things have to study and yet I still at the back of the long journey, everyday keep learning new things, brainstorming my own brain, feels so nice.

Was thinking back on the days Martin and I crap talking, really miss the days of that. Nowadays change a lot already, he had his beloved YX, they two always rushing me to find ah shou for them, WTF, how do I find one so quickly? You two slowly dream for it until maybe "later" then will pop out one already.

Mommy, how are you doing, having fun on celebrating your birthday?? Love you so much, sorry for the late blogging but still happy belated birthday from this son =D.

2009-04-24T22:30:00.002+08:00

Great, my exam timetable has out, finally, have to get my study rate increased !!!!

Today happen a really stupid things, things that "A" already know, and I just warned "A" about something might be really happening soon, why go and tell "B" that is like "A" does not know anything and get unhappy with it. I really hate this kind of things happen. Next time, what also don't care already. Anything happen don't come and find me and say don't know how to be solve.

2009-04-22T23:06:00.002+08:00

It being weeks since I last updated, well, do you believe it or not, Nic is starting to study to ease some pressure on myself because getting very nervous on the upcoming exam at June. Ya that's right, no one will predict that I will study, even myself also getting so shock.

Easter's break just passed, and I decided to take up all my careless maths and do =D, well having a nice easter, going to the cinema in Australia for the first time with Bernice, Weiwei, and Roy. Well that was in the late break of ours, just hanging around nothing to do much. But during the first day of easter, we went to clubbing, wow, Nic went to clubbing again this time with Bernice, YY, Weiwei, Roy, and Ziyin with an unknown guy to me =D. Wahahaha .. picture of the clubbing only some of them saw it =D .. shhhh ya =D

What a pleasure day it was for today, I talked to Hui Ying, for almost the whole afternoon and guess what, we two know each other for 4 years already, and I really felt that it just a glimpse of my eyes only, and there are graduation and working experience to come in the corner, whoa, life changes so quickly. Her exams are in the corner, work hard for it ya bestie, gambateh !! =D

It was the sixth month since I broke up with her already, recapping after the breaking up was just a shocker for me from the starting, often just looking at the replacement of her, to a certain stage that I feel that I can survive on my own, meeting up with all those crazy fellas,and now when things getting dimmer, I really hope there is a sudden change in my life as I got to the age of 20 last week. What by I mean by a sudden change, well, like I getting new vacation trip, which I planned to go to Tasmania with my roommate and others; Looking in the right direction of my own future and won't be disturbed by some ridiculous thinking of mine; Taking up my own potential and make use of myself to the maximum; Less thinking of her, make up for my studies; Knowing new friends more, ya right exactly, new friends !!

Say until crazy fellas, very long didn't talk to mommy already, she having exams too, whoa, everyone also having exams, good luck too =D .. same goes to Nicole and Rachel. Keit also gambateh ya =D

Now the most free is me and Martin. We two talked too much this week, use hands also cannot count finish what we chat, rubbish, drama, songs, girls, and many more. Haha, now he went to KB to pai guan, so that means I also need to pai guan too liao =D. Waiting for weekends to come =D.

P.S. Recently I found out that I in love with another girl except her, wth, I also was so shock about it, the feelings carries on and nothing have been done yet, cant step ahead just can step back. Why I have to be fate to the girl that having a BF =.=" Cannot be predicted what will be done, but a promise is still a promise, it will goes on also.

A nice fact that be known, to find out your own couple before start of working, maybe I will be doing it too because I really felt that after working, there is no much time for us to be so call "dating each other" , and frankly say, mostly at working got owner already. At working life everyone is well mature and got a good understanding each other already. This is what Aunty told me to consider properly as she said so long still didn't have a GF. Sorry to her first if break the promise.

Like a long story already, I think I should pen off already, good night =D

Wonderful Weekends

2009-04-06T19:33:00.007+08:00

Yippie, I nearly done my programming, the very first time I can finish a complete assignment myself I guess. Whoa, I was lucky I can say=D.

Start from last Friday, we went to University of Melbourne and have a walk, we went there just to see how was the night market.
Let's introduce one by one from left is YY, Bernice, Abiral, me of course, my roommate Chuen Wei, Joe if not mistaken Zzz, Roy and Doh Wei.
We took a picture before leaving for dinner. =D having a great day that night, chill out with friends. Jokes around as always =D.
What a nice view from somewhere near St. Kilda beach, it was very warm and calm, unfortunately, it just last for a couple of seconds as winds blows very strong. It even can blow me away, damn strong =.=". Well, was having a nice weekend going out with my friends at Melbourne, we went for shopping and look for things.

Well, still got 2 hours and half to my 20th birthday, was really not looking forward to it, especially since my roommate started to say that I was very interested to a girl, ya right, a girl Zzz, his friend. I also don't really know what happen to this situation, I just said that the girl is pretty and pop, there it goes again. Today also is someone birthday, always very close to me but yet still so far separated, well, guess what, I started not to miss her already, try to control myself not to think so much about her as she having really good life at there. I really wish that I won't be thinking of her more, study is important then her right now, but I MUST SAID THAT I REALLY MISS HER, furthermore hoping that she can handle everything. Enjoying life at here is more priority, at least I slowly can mix up and the group is getting bigger and bigger already. Cool ya ! =D

Hey guys, how are you all doing nowadays, starting to miss you guys, specially that asshole Martin =D long time didn't mad with you already.

Why things should be like this, friends should be apart far away from me. Gosh, hurry up and faster reach December once again, I really want to meet you guys once more.

Uncommon Things

2009-03-26T09:41:00.003+08:00

Ya what ever, this few days become very moody, express all the feelings on someone, sorry to who ever give me to express out, specially Nicole ya, very terrible sorry. Days getting nearer to the judgment day of my course, wow, hardly started anything, well ,since nothing has started, I do a lot of exercise to maintain myself for catching up everything. Not very ideal at all, "practice makes perfect". Slogan rocks the world. Everyone must practice to get even better.

As usual, not many things happen, appreciate what are besides you right now. Huh, what so important beside me is just bla, bla, bla. Rubbish I guess. Due to something happen to myself inside my heart, the person that knows these things happen really can encourage me to get even better results. Dreaming for myself? Possible, Truly? Takes time to forget something, takes time to manage something new, for me takes eternity to do something brave and new. Gees, why I always getting the same old answer from my closest buddies. Not for Martin, he always gives me many new ideas of life, he frustrated himself for something unusual, wow, first time heard that from him, he was so annoyed by someone.

Life goes on, why does no people understand why life can't be stop at one moment and people starting to forget the future for one second. Maybe just because the world can't stop turning around the orbit and itself. Even so, I feel myself stopping at a somewhere behind by now.. Very deeply behind. Getting emotional as ever !!

By writing this, my heart started to pain again, I just keep silence and stop thinking about her for a moment and everything calms down. Why I need to be suffer by this heart pain I also don't know what lead to this pain, cause of the pain and even when did I suffer this pain. Pain that the word I knew for a long time already, no gain no pain? Gaining more, the worst the pain goes on. I feel that I am shutting myself on an empty cold room, no one does care what is going to happen to me yet again and I felt lonely yet again. Really hurts a lot, I wonder she will know that.

Scattered heart fill with many scars inside, this time, I think not going too well, getting ill already with the heart condition worsen, I HATE IT!! Holding my heart with my hands to calm down, not even one second the heart stop pumping very hard, and it could have been worse if I didn't get a short rest just now. Now it still pain, I really wonder why, why could it be her, why things suppose I do to get rid of this pain !!, fuck off please the bad feelings, is really not the time for you to come and disturb me, I have tests next week and you pissing me off.!!

2009-03-20T10:55:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2009-03-18T12:57:00.002+08:00

Hope that this is the last, lazy to do already

~现在几点= you want which time first??? ... got the whole world of time list =D

~你现在正在听谁的歌= aiyo, don't ask me songs, you all sure don't know what is it

~你在哪里读书工作= Swinburne University of Technology

~上一次吹蜡烛的数目: 12

~你通常吹熄这些蜡烛的日期: when out of electricity and it came back =P

~你们家养过什么动物: got then good =D

~星座= Aries

~你有纹身吗= Got this i will get killed by my parents =P

~喜欢目前的生活吗: No comment, someone knows

~喝过酒吗= drink so much already =D

~不爱吃的东西= er, didn't have any of it, what also eat

~喜欢吃的东西= what also eat Zzzzz

~喜欢喝什么= water =D

~最喜欢的数字= Numbers aa, see until will faint still like number? Am i crazy ??

~喜欢看哪一种电视剧= interesting drama then watch, why choose so much

~喜欢看哪一种电影类型= anything will do and wont be sleeping in the theater

~喜欢的卡通人物= this one =.=" Zzz =P

~喜欢的品牌: no idea

~最怀念的日子= with someone precious to me

~伤心的经验= sad things hurting myself, but still inside my heart don't want to tell

~最喜欢星期几= everyday is a bored day

~最喜欢的季节= lol ? can i say all ???

~喜欢的花: give flowers maybe ... likes flowers =.=" wait i become a girl only think ???

~喜欢的运动= sure lots can't list out

~喜欢的冰淇淋类型= can eat can already, no need to choose

~最怕什么东西=......................... you all know =.="

~如果有来世= got this things , then everyone will be lazy =P

~最讨厌的事= got then yeng miaaa =X

~最喜欢的事= crazy with martin first of all, with a girl(don't want to tell) and of course the siao eh members =P

~想做什么职业= ... blah, engineer if not do what =.="

~你们家住几楼: 100000000000 floor =X

~觉得自己十年后会在哪里= later only say

~寄这封邮件给你的上一个人= lazy so no one =P

~无聊的时候你大多会做些什么= listen songs, chatting with friends

~世界上最恼人的事= cannot be with someone

~世界上最好的事= can be with my families and take care of them

~觉得同性恋如何= they like can already, none of my business

~如果有人误会你= depends on things, but sure let it be mostly

~有想过要怎么对付你讨厌的人吗= maybe, siao eh people then will do lor

~通常几点上床睡觉= depends ?

~你觉得谁会先回这封信= don't know =P

~你觉得谁是最不可能回复的人= sweet no need reply the best ?

~你现在最想见的人= ....... no comment

~你想在几岁结婚= maybe no marriage at all ???

~有想过自杀吗= no, but got want to kill people =P

~最希望谁回信= haiya, let it be la

~想不想和发邮件给你的人一起吃个便饭= ghost i guess =P

Things going to the opposite way ? or maybe I think it differently to look it even better ?

2009-03-17T18:22:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to 江若琳-手掌印, is from a drama E.U. ending theme, quite nice and romance in it.

As my classes started 2 weeks ago, things won't get any worst then I thought, endless study and revision, tiring days, sleepless night, and mainly of course something troubles inside my heart, no one can understand the mood I having right now.

As days goes on, less sleep, sick often, and problem right to my heart, as it hurts more then even I can surpass it, too tension and stress on studies already I guess, blah, maybe I miss the days we being together, being happy at the moment that makes me don't think about anything and just be with you. Oh well, no point of stressing at here, no one can manage fate in their own hands.

Seeing a lot of good stuff recently, adding up my knowledge and being prepare to face the ultimate fight of my life, after this finish, it all over and I will step out of study life and starts my working days, very looking forward to do so, but I really hope that someone will be with me that time, when she saw this I sure she will know, but I rather stay up close and personal to this. Own fate have to fight for it myself. While thinking of earning money to help out my family, this feelings makes me feel so comfort inside my heart as my dad's really look different from what I last seen him, really slim down a lot. Really feel downhearted, well, go Nicholas, you can manage, good luck to myself.

Today was a nice day not that I expected, I really thought today will be very down and hitting hard on myself on books yet again, but things goes another way, maybe looking different direction. Maybe is just because I talked to her about something right ?? Don't know =D, concluded happy day =D.

Coco's birthday just past, sorry to her I didn't wish her a happy birthday or maybe I will do it later. This Friday another important person of mine going to grow up one year, she is May Ling, hope she manage to get what she wants. Hehe, looking forward to it.

Martin where have you being, you bought a laptop and disappear in front of me?? Want to see how your pro laptop working =P.

2009-03-17T17:39:00.002+08:00

1) Martin
2) Alicia
3) Keit
4) Nicole.S
5) Nicole.Y
6) YX
7) Sharon
8) Rachel
9) JY
10) Jacky

How do you know 1?
- Play dota until ki siao then know miaa =P
What would you do if you never met 2?
- Then i would have no mommy in this world already, so cannot no meet =P

What would you do if 3 & 4 dated you?
- oH ? good, both of them will come and kill me because they are couple

Would 5 & 6 make a good couple?
- I very scare Kenny and Martin come and chop me to 15 pieces.

Do you think 7 is attractive?
- Don't want to tell you, inside my heart know the answer can already

Do you know anything about 8's family?
- Know then I will be mind reader =P

Tell me something about 9
- My rachie xiao mei mei eh dear dear

What language does 2 speak?
- Anything that can speak using mouth =D

Who is 3 going out with?
- Hoho, want to know go ask him la=.=" ask me for what =X

How old is 4?
- she 7 years old to me actual age is 19

Who is 6's favourite singer?
- Ask Martin maybe he will know =P

Would you date 7?
- AHEM ! wait and see lor =P
10 single?
- Single got use ?? I not gay also, but he is my daddy =P

What is 9's last name?
- How I know? Know he call JY only =P

Would you consider being in a relationship with 1?
- Best friend forever =X ever madness =P

Which school does 2 go to?
- Ask me ?.. Go ask her please, I don't know the school also =P

What do you like about 3?
- He so steam and very love my granddaughter can already =D

2009-03-16T12:45:00.003+08:00

What would your name be with the first three letters?
Same with that granddaughter

When is your birthday?
7th April

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
Don't know, guess not

Did you have a good day?
Ya

How many children do you want?
Probably 2

What are your plans for the weekend?
Locking myself in my room

If you could move right now what would you do?
Go back to Malaysia

Are you happy with the way things are going right now?
Not sure, half half

What do you currently hear right now?
Songs that you don't want to know =X

Where will you be in an hour?
Australia

Is your heart broken right now?
Already broke into thousand pieces

What are you looking forward to in the next month?
Stay warm in my apartment ?? Studying in University

Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?:
After my marriage I will tell u

Is your myspace profile private?
Don't have one right now

Do you believe in love?
Maybe yes maybe not

Do you think relationships are even worth it?
Don't have one right now

Have you ever done anything outrageously dumb?
Sure ....... have

Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
YES

Have you ever kissed anyone and never saw them again?
Don't want to be mention

Have you ever liked anyone that had a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Don't want answer Zzz

Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
How I know Zzz

Are you someone who worries too often?
This one I admit ya

Would you ever donate blood?
Ya already donated

Was last New Year's enjoyable?
Half half

Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
Wait I have the chance to go, freaking cold at here can't go Zzz

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with H, A, S, B, M, N, T, or J?
=.=" Don't want to tell you all =P

Last person to send you a text message?
You guys don't want to know @@

What are you doing right now?
Great I don't know what I am doing right now

Do you drink water?
=.=" Stupid is it ??

Do you care if people hate you for no reason?
Everything will have a reason=.="

What was the last thing you cried about?
You guys don't want to know Zzz

Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend?
guess yourself Zzz

Do you have a favorite flavor of gum?
What is this Zzz

Have you ever been hit on through text message?
Someone should know

Do you prefer sweet or sour candy?
Sour

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night?
Sure not

Do you want to see somebody right now?
Sure

Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?
Blah, don't know

Do you listen to songs when you're down?
Sweat, songs are rocks when human are down =D

Do you get mad easily?
Don't ask me =D

Are you are an argumentative person?
Guess not

Have you ever hugged someone named Joe?
Joe? A dog named Joe got, human sure not ZZz I am not gay too

Are your ears gauged?
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

How did you feel when you woke up today?
Energetic to go to class =D

How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
1 min

Have you ever had a bestfriend who was of the opposite sex?
Who does not have Zzzz

What's in your pocket?
None of your business

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Ya

What kind of pants are you wearing?
Short pants ?? Long pants ??

Do you have siblings over the age of 21?
No

Are you currently employed?
No

Have you ever been kissed in a bedroom?
Whoa, secret to me =P

Is there someone you will never forget?
=.=" Don't want to answer, she knows

Do you like somebody right now?
AHEM !! Don't know

Do you think somebody likes the same person you do?
ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, no comment=.="

How do you vent anger?
Find someone to talk to

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
No one

Changing in Style?

2009-03-12T13:32:00.004+08:00

Everyday this world is turning and changing, this also happen to all the person living in the world. As I grow up nearly to 20 years old, this things even be clearer right in front of me, why I have chosen this path to walk and even why I willing to sacrifice everything just to come here educate, it is just very simple, future is the only aim I had. See how worst in my family right now as day by day my father working so hard and always didn't have a good sleep. I very worried on him but nothing that I can do right now, just have to finish the assignment that he gave me last year, that is to finish my education and help out in the family.

Education, what a nice pronunciations, when I heard that from my mom about my dad, I only thinking of how I going to use up my 110% of hard work to get on to my studies yet, but sadly that time something pop out in my mind as, you know, it sometimes very harsh to say, that a girl in my heart usually is always the first one that I think before my family, at the very last end only think about myself. Why I could not stop thinking about her and concentrate on what I am doing !! ?? What a funny thing to say right? Guess I am that kind of guy, USELESS yet wants to work hard on it. Like NO HER CANNOT LIVE, what the, maybe is the time to give up on her ?? Nicholas, what are you doing right now. Guess I have to maintain both of it, as all the promise wont change!! Luckily this semester is quite tough and very challenging to me, I even stop my part time job in order to process on my aim. Hard ya, lets work hard together. I also thought before, what if a new girl appears in front of me and I can accept her, does it really counts much that she can replace the importance of her inside my heart, I wonder?? This world anything will happen, don't expect tomorrow just look forward to finish a day. When the day has come and the girl had been replace, it really would be another new world of my own, brings out a brand new daylight.

Tomorrow is my beloved daughter Nicole Yeoh 's birthday, at here just wish her a happy birthday, may all your wish come true. I am proud to have you as my daughter, well, I think this is god arrangement that we met at INTI and helping each other. Believe a not, as days went by, our bond of relationship becomes stronger and I try to be a good father in your heart =D.

Recap of my trip "Part 3"

2009-03-01T10:23:00.004+08:00

Sorry guys, this few days quite busy a bit as I found a job to do, it is quite a nice job that I can learn even more things. I just manage to pass the time, and guess what, I don't know what were the feelings hitting me. I feel quite weird not happy, not stress but loneliness increasing. Guess I have to say is, something hits me until I can make the world upside down. Well even in my world turning from white to pure black, life still goes on. What a "nice" Sunday it will turn out to be as already 2 days I slept for 4-5 hours only. Emptiness and bored hits out yet again, and I thinking back words that hitting me hardly, weird huh? I totally out of circuit today.

Particles memories inside my heart that I wont forget, the very first time I gave out a bouquet of flower to girl, not girl, is girls, right, the first time I gave out to 3 girls, feels quite special, but I wont say out their name later their boyfriends kill me =P. I gave out the flowers because doing some charity and buy their flowers only =D. Well it is a very nice things to do since it is a charity.

Back to Penang after the fun KL trip, and oh yeah it going to be Christmas so I met up with the most beloved daughter of mine since she came back specially to see me I assume because maybe will be the last time of seeing me, she will be leaving to study at England soon. She having a hard time study at KL, always rushing a lot of assignments and get caught of sick often, always worrying on her too, but luckily got someone there replacing me to take care of her. Since she was at Penang surely don't want her to stress so much and bring her out often to catch up with her friends.

Christmas again, yet this time feels so single minded as decision flying around me, needing me to make, blah, why always I have the role of the organizer, why always I have to suffer from outside circumstances, I thought I have it under control, but no, out of my expectation. Luckily not much to worry as I delayed it. Joo was the one always talking to me, thanks to her for always listening to what I said that time. ( She knows it well when she saw this one, a promise always is a promise ) Times really flew by.

After that is New Year time, nothing much happen, just wondering around until Martin the big fat ass comes back from KL. During the time, always hanging out with Joo and helping her out, because she going for her studies in Australia, yippie, finally someone close to me had came. Looking forward to see her soon in Melbourne or in Tasmania.

Next up is Chinese New Year, looking forward to it on the next blog, but sadly I think wont be up until I settle all my things, but I will post it as fast as I can. By the way, she is going to take her SPM results, wish her all the best and hope she can solve out all her problems soon, I not sure that I know what I am doing right now also. =P. She knows me well so she will know.

P.S.
Know something from Coco blog, Girls who had said sorry first means something bad happen, but no matter what, want to be couple must learn how to be more patient with each other, learn from what is wrong with him/her only decided what to do. Running away can't solve everything, it is because everyone also will make a mistake. Love is not one dimensional, sometimes people always think about themselves first before standing at other people side and think about it, think twice other people point of view may effect on what you are seeing from your side of view, nothing is right or wrong in love. It takes a lot of determination and confidence to make a girl stand up first to say sorry, guess I have to say is no matter what, having a couple life is just too fast and furious right now, gaining more time to know each other is much more important right maybe that life will change quickly then you expected.

Damn Martin, I want go to the Star Cruise also, always nothing to do with me, left behind often =P. Faster give me an air ticket go back and follow you go play =P. By the way, this guy also get the same thing as I got, best buddy ya? Poison strikes too deeply, no YX this guy cant survive already, I think same goes to YX as I heard something touching between both of them =D.

Dear Sharon, no matter what, waiting is the only option that I have chose, I wont regret it too, please don't mind that it will bring many hard days for me, I will manage it, because I always being alone and getting all the things done myself, just sometimes need people to give me some support to do. Love really is blind, that all I can say, the more it goes, the more I will realize that I done the right decision to do this.

Dear Alicia, bored days, so fun going out with "ahem" xD, aha, go here go there make sure you take care yourself and remember to study =P.

Recap of My Trip "Part 2"

2009-02-24T11:31:00.006+08:00

Now there is something big happening right here, even I also have no idea to settle it. I hope that it won't affect my schedule back to my home town later in the year. Very scary to think of it that I can't even do what as I promise to someone. Better then nothing I try my best to solve the whole thing. Things by right not getting very well as I started to miss her I know she will be wondering why I could spend some of my time to wait for her, I at here answer her, because there is love inside my heart just for you that why I willing to wait for you no matter how long will it takes no matter how also no people will replace the space of yours, but I didn't hope for much things to happen between you and me, I just hope that you will be able to gain your own happiness and be safe always. At last I found a work at here, hopefully will pass my time quicker and comfortable.

To think back, so fast already 3 months apart that we met each other, with Alicia, Jacky, Nicole, Rachel and JY. They gave me a very nice and memorable trip, specially someone la. By the way times really past fast, I have to be apart with you all, really miss you all very much.

Day 1 - Sucks Day
Martin and I went to KL early in the morning 930 am, we thought that we will be able to reach there around noon time, but sadly, we 3pm only want to reach half way of KL, we have no choice but to take Star to BJ yet again as the lovely Keit and Nicole are waiting for us impatiently and quite frustrated I guess. Get the chance to meet Nicole for the very first time, impression, err first look, like a "Big Sister". We had lunch and both of them bring us go to Pavilion to shop, then dinner I have to treat her as my granddaughter for the very first time, 100 bucks ya I remember =P.

Day 2 - BBQ day
The most excited day ever, because this was planned long ago with a lot of suggestion, I am very looking forward to this day as the first time can meet Alicia and Rachel, and our boss JY can't attend quite sad also, surprisingly, this was also the first time I met Jacky although we had a few chats only, he is so called our "daddy" now, so charming with our mommy =D. We had a warm nice BBQ, all the pictures will be found at our family friendster. Was very happy to see Alicia mommy and Rachel my beloved sister. Had a very enjoy day, madding with all of them, even inside the pool. I and Martin were the most professional guys, always predicting the right things to happen. Wow, guess I forget to bring the present back to Penang. Sorry =P.

Day 3 - Rest day
Great, all the event makes us tired so we decided to take a rest.

Day 4 - Singing in Red Box
What a funny day it was turning out to be, the very first time I treat my mom to eat, then we all made our way to the Red Box, one by one desperate want me to sing. In the Red Box there is something happen and we all had enjoy so much on the day. All the pictures also available in the family friendster too. After the part of singing, another dinner was occur, this dinner was a special one as counted as a family dinner, rm 200 was spend.

Day 5 - Another rest day
Lazy to go out again ya right, straight rest like madness.

Day 6 - Steamboat time ladies and gentlemen
That day, I really was excited and don't know how my feelings was actually, had the chance to see back her, I was so shocked that she had changed a lot since the last meeting, well, this time the meeting was so different, but for me and maybe for her, is just something that unite back us, with a promise last time made, although not being together, I also kept my own promise, this year also will be the same I hope. In the meantime we received news that mommy can't make it to the steamboat, it is quite annoying because that was my last meeting with her already, quite miss the feelings that she very cares me as a son.

Day 7 - Personal day with her alone
Well, this one is really not expected as Martin already started working, really had a big headache on the transport, but at last I also made it to there. For all the reason behind, that day, I really was nervous to the end, thinking of really important things to tell her. We had a walk and go to the place when we started being together that time to have a lunch. After that, I invited my sister, May Ling to meet us at there, this also is the first time I met her, all I know is she long hair and I was very looking forward to meeting her because I care of her much then myself I guess, maybe not, because I treat her as a real sister. After that we separate with my sis, and we had a walk and the moment of the truth I told her a lot of my feelings and hope that she understand what I saying that time, I really was over the nervous.

Sorry to the DaRs clan member, could not find a time to find you all, because you guys damn busy at Kampar with exam =X.

P.S.
Coco don't ask me so much English, my English is too weak to be a tutor or a guide =X. Coco I feel you really looks nice in long hair, don't go and cut short already ya.

Recap Of my Trip "Part 1"

2009-02-21T18:27:00.005+08:00

Got a little unsettle at Aussie now, mixture of happy and sad feelings on the heart, yet many people tell me have to work hard for this semester, I would happily do it, but then, when I first saw my schedule for the coming semester, I would say, "TOUGH ONE", nevertheless I still will find a way to fulfill the gap. I started to know why, I don't want to be alone without her, she knows it also when I say this, or maybe more and more people will know, but I think it will goes well but I can tell out, I will badly miss her.

Lets see, today is a boring day, so decided to write back the memories in Malaysia, sorry for the late put up because in Malaysia totally can't do anything about the slow connection on my house.

I shall do it separately, starting in the first week in December. I went back to Penang, met up with a bunch of new and old friends. Well frankly speaking, I don't know want to visit who first, end up I take my phone up and saw Joanne message so I ask her want to come out to meet a not. Therefore, I met Joanne and Pei Ching, both of them I can summarize up very charm and kind girls, very playful too, like to play around. We went to cinema and guess what, both of them go toilet for almost 20 minutes i guess, I was not realizing the time, but I know they went too long already. After that we had some tea together. Here is some picture we being out together.

See both picture with Pei Ching is being force by Joanne, to get nearer to her, she said " It was a perfect match". LOL what a a funny thing to say. Didn't plan on doing anything also =D. That Martin at first also pushing me towards her, I really wondering, is it so match until Martin also do that. But sadly, when I leave I also didn't tell both of them also, since the meeting, we less talk to each other and Martin also less mentioning them already.

Of course on the mean while, I also send some messages to her knowing that she is coming up to find him, I were rather very sad but I told myself to avoid meeting her up later made up some unnecessary misunderstanding. On my mind on view, I also can feel that something is very wrong to the mix up too, but I don't want to bother it too.

The most fun part of it is I visited Karen at her office, she was so shocked seeing me so big size. She always call me up said got junior wants to go to Swinburne ask me to give some information to them. Counting the facts the whole trip, I went out with Karen, Joo, OK the most, always hang out together and go find a place to eat dinner or lunch, even went to the singing in Red Box. Finally add up we ate a lot of various place, nearly make it to Ipoh, but no people is free so have to cancel it so sad.

A nice Overall

2009-01-03T17:13:00.003+08:00

First of all, I am not lonely guy, ass you Martin, i know you and me going to suffer the same thing soon, coming back here the best =D, can go "pek zao" xD. Finally i can post something up already, it is being 1 month since I updated my blog, so many people nudging me to update.

Before the trip to KL, I have met Joanne and PC. PC is the girl that Martin so highly recommend me to chase her but, I think I rather be alone also don't want any girl to worry about me more then I worry on them.

I have being back to Penang for holiday, and there are many memorable things that they can give me, specially in the trip to KL, thanks for the meaningful trip. The pictures are available in the friendster link to the crazy family. Well overall, I have met some friends, specially my mother, Alicia, and the granddaughter, Nicole that only knows who is Keit only. Rachel seems still like a stranger to me, didn't talk much to her, but at least is still a very nice friend to have =D. It was very fun, we had our BBQ in Nicole's place, and we went to Red Box to sing. Wonderful moment and scene can be seen

A little Wish

2008-11-21T11:09:00.003+08:00

Sorry for a long time didn't update the blog, was facing final exam. It was quite tough, but I still will make it. That is because, there is someone that I wanted to be with most right now, although I don't want her to know anything right now, right here, because I was not too sure about all myself. The future right ahead for me, but still wanted to find the Miss Right to accompany me. I don't really know why I wanted one, maybe because I am quite lonely at here, or maybe is just a mere replacement of her, still yet confusing for me.
For her, maybe let her in the world of not knowing anything will be the best right now. Luckily for me, Granddaughter Nicole wake me up in the right place and right time, if not, I really don't know what I really am doing. Every of her words wake me up to think seriously on her. That what I decided on yesterday and tell everyone.
Weee, still got one more week left and I will be at Penang already. Can't wait to the day to come, sadly I still have one subject to go. Bahh forget it, I will continue work hard for it. To myself and a bit to her right now. I decided something that is outrages recently. =P It will remain unknown until the right time to tell everyone.
When there is love and hatred, I rather choose to be the one hurting you the most. I really don't want anything happen to you right now, even I do really fall right into your heart.
Cheers to keit and Nicole, so lovely already =D. Thanks mom, sis, martin and everyone that support me much until now. Wish I could have the courage to tell her what is in my heart, but no matter how, I think it will hurt her much also, and the future is very uncertain to me. When things come to very desperate and hopeless, I think is better to let her know, not right now.
Loving her right now so much =D shhhhhh ...

A Clear Path in front of Me

2008-11-10T10:55:00.002+08:00

Things are now quite clear from now onwards, before that I was in the illusion world, wondering what will happen next. An answer to unlock the whole thing depends on her, as what I not expecting it will be, but then, at least finally I had to make my own decision, to let go, ya not mistaken, is to let go off the past, riding towards my own future. Many thanks to some people that follow me throughout this bad incident. Thankfully I pass it with no real bad things happen, especially to mommy, Martin, granddaughter. You all were a great helpful to me. Thank you all so much. Thank you guys for cheering me up, Mommy and Granddaughter.

Since 2 weeks ago I have updated the blog, really having a big problem writing a blog without any topic. Miss the writing so much, haha finally I am back. Following my calender, I am now going to sit for exam not even one week, preparing preparing =D. Some more, I found another song that touches my heart deeply. =P but i don't want to put it at here. Going to be end of the month already, cant wait for the return to Malaysia. Well madly, I have started to pack already, not many things to take back, looking for some goodie for my bestie and families =D.

2 weeks, many things happen, Keit and Nicole getting along quite well, missing each other badly, Martin and YX well, haha mad couple, but very nice relationship already, how nice to meet them later in the month =D. Well I didn't have any usual, still the same, just change my goal to another only =P. Mommy got a "ahem" already, don't know who is it yet, maybe she is joking with us who knows !! My niece MS, finally got a BoyFriend already, congrats her, she can finally let go off him is a great thing.

Again and again !!

2008-10-28T18:31:00.003+08:00

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
- No SmS also =P

Whats your relationship with the person you last texted?
- Ghost Relationship xD

What are your plans for today?
- Seeing her to be happy ^^

Are you in a relationship, single, complicated, married, or engaged?
- single

Do you wish someone would call you right now?
- If i can receive a call !!

Do you find piercings attractive on the opposite sex?
- : YA

What song are you currently listening to?
- Insufficient Love - Raymond Lam

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
- For sure =) health first=)

Name something you dislike about the day you've had?
- regret

Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
- YA for sure

Do you miss someone?
- Sure!!

If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
- Go back to Malaysia find someone =P

If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?
- Freaking no mood and angry

What is the weather like today?

- BAD , same goes to my illness

Do you have anything to complain about?- Absolutely, too many tags to do =.="
- Is your hair curly?- Don't know what hair also =.=

What are you going to do tonight?- Sleep la of course
- Do you have a best friend?- Sure

What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
- Meeting up my crazy Family !!

What are you going to do tomorrow?- STUDY and exams
- If someone looked ON your bed, what would they find?- Nothing xD

Will you be in a relationship 3 months from now?
- Gone Case =.="

Are you happy at the moment?
- Am I ???

What were you doing at 1am this morning?
- I'm still chatting with my plurk's friends

Do you like to read?
- YA

You're in the hospital, who on your TOP friends comes to visit you?
- ERMMM ... hehe Dont WANT LIST OUT

If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?
-Go DIE la !!

Days of Enchantment

2008-10-28T18:06:00.002+08:00

"Cherish everything right in front of you", well this words really hits me hard now, what is in front of me I barely can't reach out yet and I starting to miss her badly day by day. The feeling increases even I also don't know what I am thinking at the moment and the state of missing her, I don't think I can imagine myself.
Seeing that chance is right in front of me, I think I nearly blew it myself, never thought it could happen also in a split of time. I know let go any opportunity will be a waste to me, I even haven't dream of it is her. Well maybe I felt too lonely right now, just can study and aiming high for my exam.
Stopping by a while, thinking a lot nowadays, even I am sick, I also act strong, can't rest well. Think too much ? Worry on her ? Worry on study ? Don't get it .. no idea, no solution, first time suffer from this. Totally useless to think of anything except for her.
Chance only have once, get it or not depends on myself, putting down here to remind myself how stupid am I? Maybe once hurt before, not dare to move on from the shadow of losing someone.
By any chances, maybe really is fate, let me know some new friends , I can say I treat them as a best friends already, one day I will one by one introduce to you guys =)

Not Again

2008-10-25T10:37:00.003+08:00

Real Name : Nicholas K.B.K.
Nickname: Kendo
Married: ermmm ~~
Male or female: Male
High school: SMJK CLHS
Short or long hair: how to see ? how to say ?
Are you a health freak?: ..... =P
Height: ewww ~~ same height with keit

Do you have a crush on someone?: Now? Maybe =) .. Nicole knows
Do you like yourself?: Sure la
Righty or lefty: Righty
First,Surgery: Maybe going to happen ?? =P
Piercing: pierce where ? you ?
Person you see in the morning: my laptop =)
Award: award for killing you to do this tag again ?
Pet: Myself ..

Vacation: Swiss, Italy =)
Concert: ------ no comment
First crush: SWT

Eating: Anything that can eat
Drinking: Anything that can drink
I'm about to: down for whole day ??

Want to get married: when ? future ? surely in future !!
Careers in mind: Engineering / Manager of Marnic Co.

Lips or eyes: none of it
Hugs or kisses: see what the girl like =)
Shorter or taller: average =)
Romantic or spontaneous: diu !!
Sensitive or loud: aiya !!
Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant.

Do you believe in***Yourself: Surely ??
Miracles: doubted .. but yes
Santa Clause: I LOVE SANTA!
Magics: Cool teach me some
Angels: Angel in the sky ?? =)
Is there one person you want to be right now: now ? Alicia ??
Do you believe in God: Sure

Encounter Problems again

2008-10-24T18:52:00.003+08:00

Going to be one week already, wow, I still like inside the dream, don't know what is going to happen next. The next day I woke, i was not being able to forget about her, why ? I asking myself why, but inside my heart here are no answer to all the question. Still I need to stand up on what I am focusing right now and right in front of me. There is too many confusion for me to solve right now, maybe will lead me to another part of the relationship, or maybe not, no answer also. Meantime, was concentrating on the exam coming soon, although didn't have much study on myself, just take past year do =).
Is also going to be a hard road right in front of me, wondering myself what should I do next, listening to the warm songs around, makes me feel so touch sometimes. Hopefully I can get to use to the way that single life use to be. No matter how weak am I, I will stay strong. !!
Mommy i miss u so much, wondering how are u doing lately, how is your exam too. !!

Even things Out

2008-10-23T07:10:00.003+08:00

Recently bad things happen again, for me it was just another scene of sadness, torture and disappointment. I would never wish this thing happen again, well, it had already happen, nothing much to say, I didn't hope for the third chance anymore.
林峰- 爱不疚

收藏在眼眸常徘徊左右爱猜到没有
愉快玩笑後能全然退後你开心就够

这种感觉太亲厚讲一千句也不够
假使讲了你听到後或会走
这种恋爱太罕有不须真正拥有
成全衷心祝福然後就放手

放手放开所有彼此更自由
放手其实我绝非爱得不够
放手豁出所有还有这个好友
已经已经足够

遥远是宇宙静静在背後去看守就够
这种感觉太亲厚讲一千句也不够
即使一刹有过冲动挽你手
这种恋爱太罕有不须真正拥有
成全多舍不得仍然是放手

放手放开所有彼此更自由
放手其实我绝非爱得不够
放手豁出所有还有这个好友
已经已经足够

放手我的牵挂找不到尽头
放手期望你幸福甚麽都有
也许爱很深厚然而我早看得透
放手至可拥有

I was very happy this few days, leaving back all the sad things. But all these things leads me to another confusion, although it was a good one, warming my heart up, I also not sure that is the right time to have a new relationship. A long distance have disadvantage more then advantage. Carrying out this, inside my heart now, there are 4 person staying in deeply, one is my beloved Mommy, Alicia, two sweet couple, Martin and Yx , Keit and Nicole, and lastly, I really surprise myself, do think a lot about her , she was a special one, but I let it be natural, all things lead to FATE. She is MS. Well, I know that I could not be thinking of this because exam is right around the corner, but sometimes, I don't know what happen to myself, thinking back of her. In order not to think of her, SORRY Mommy and MS, I know I used you two without permission, I know I am greedy, thinking of two girls, no idea at all now to me, too much confusion right now, don't want to think about it. Another new character in my heart, well I really wish she is a good caring one, then it will be enough for me.

Thanks to May Ling, Martin, Keit, and mostly to my Mommy Alicia and Granddaughter Nicole, you guys helping me up. Nicole talked to me much when I in trouble, when getting up to the talking, I starting to get the calm inside my heart, don't think so much about it. Well as for my mommy, there is a song for you ~~ with meaning ~~ :

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
守りたいものなら此処にあるよ
迷わずについておいで

薄紅の風はあの日の残像
隠した真実と消えない傷のあと
方程式では量れないリアル
光射す明日の旋律

刃のような闇空駆け抜ける衝動
昨日の自分よりももっと最も高く！
何度遠回りして何度つまづいたっけ？
叶えたい夢へ Just Tune !!

誰だってなれなくてもどかしいんだ
天より高く凛と煌めく星に焦がれて
小さなこの手で何が出来る？
独りで痛みを抱えないで
ここにおいで！

まやかしの月が白く嘲笑う
制御不能のまま迸る激情
「失う事」慣れたフリで
強がってた日々にさよなら

あたしの存在は小さいモノとしても
この心 Out of control !!

「今日」という瞬間にすべて懸ける
傷ついてもいいんだそれより伝えたい事
迷っていられない君と逢えた
あたしは歌い続けるよ
ついておいで！

自分の傷がいつでも一番なんて思ってた
さぁ描いた空へ
リミッターはずしてはばたけ！自由に！

「今日」という瞬間にすべて懸ける
傷ついてもいいんだそれより伝えたい事

守りたいものなら此処にあるよ
運命でも偶然でも愛しい絆
小さなこの手で何が出来る？
あたしは歌い続けるよ
ここにおいで！

the thing I want to protect is here
just follow me without hesitating

the thing I want to protect is here
just follow me without hesitating

the pale crimson wind is an afterimage of that day
the hidden truth and the scars that won't disappear
the reality that can't be measured in equations
the tune of tomorrow that sheds light

the dark sky like a blade, my driven urge
higher, much higher than my self from yesterday!
how many times have I took detours and how many times have I tripped?
to the dream I want to grant, Just Tune!!

everyone can't become it and feel irritated
admiring the stars that shine dignifiedly, higher than heaven
what can I do with my small hands?
don't hold on to pain all alone
come here!

the deceptive moon whitely sneers
the swelling fury that's uncontrollable
saying good-bye to the days I acted tough where I
pretended to be experienced with 'losing something'

even if my existence is something small
this heart is Out of control!!

I'll bet everything on this moment called 'today'
I don't care if I get hurt, but there's something I want to say
I can't continue being lost, I met you
I'll continue to sing
come follow me!

I always thought that my own pain came first
here, towards the sky we idealized
remove your limiters and fly! freely!

I'll bet everything on this moment called 'today'
I don't care if I get hurt, but there's something I want to say

the thing I want to protect is here
even if it's fate or a coincidence, it's a precious bond
what can I do with my small hands?
I'll continue to sing
come here!

A discussion has not been started for these lyrics.

Change history for English lyrics:

Version #1 by minku at 02:00:10 pm 10/20/08

Change history for Romaji lyrics:

Version #1 by ringotane at 10:49:35 am 10/20/08

Change history for Kanji lyrics:

Version #1 by shin at 06:48:37 am 10/20/08

the pale crimson wind is an afterimage of that day
the hidden truth and the scars that won't disappear
the reality that can't be measured in equations
the tune of tomorrow that sheds light

the dark sky like a blade, my driven urge
higher, much higher than my self from yesterday!
how many times have I took detours and how many times have I tripped?
to the dream I want to grant, Just Tune!!

everyone can't become it and feel irritated
admiring the stars that shine dignified, higher than heaven
what can I do with my small hands?
don't hold on to pain all alone
come here!

the deceptive moon whitely sneers
the swelling fury that's uncontrollable
saying good-bye to the days I acted tough where I
pretended to be experienced with 'losing something'

even if my existence is something small
this heart is Out of control!!

I'll bet everything on this moment called 'today'
I don't care if I get hurt, but there's something I want to say
I can't continue being lost, I met you
I'll continue to sing
come follow me!

I always thought that my own pain came first
here, towards the sky we idealized
remove your limiters and fly! freely!

I'll bet everything on this moment called 'today'
I don't care if I get hurt, but there's something I want to say

the thing I want to protect is here
even if it's fate or a coincidence, it's a precious bond
what can I do with my small hands?
I'll continue to sing
come here!

This song: Just Tune by Savage Genius, was so calm when I listening and thinking about you. Thanks so much ~~ for all the caring for me, I really appreciate it ~~ deeply ~~. Got chance, I will repay you back with all my life ~~ when you in trouble too ~~ . !! Yippie ~~ Glad to have you as a Mommy ~~.
Tears Dropping while writing this, really love you so much mommy,granddaughter and MS !! ~~ even thought the journey now in front of me is hard, but I will walk through. I told MS something also, I also told Nicole to tell Alicia something ~~ but nothing much happen right now ~~ All those something, well, Back to Malaysia only think about it maybe, or now ~~ Looking forward too.

-Pen off -

Eat full Nothing to DO ??

2008-10-22T08:05:00.004+08:00

What song is stuck in your head?
- Love insufficient, Raymond Lam

A person that you miss?
- Alicia, Nicole,MS, Rachel ?? Guess yourself !! =P

Do you tell people if you find them attractive?
- Depends on who

Name something you have to do tomorrow?
- Assignment to finish off

Can you whistle?
- Sure

What makes you laugh?
- Laugh? When i am in good mood =)

Biggest fear?
- Ur tag =.=" so much

If you could die for someone who would it be?
- My Crazy Family members

What are you looking forward to in the next month?
- Going back to Malaysia and meet my crazy family =)

Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?
- Not sure, why don't you wait until that time then you will know

Do you smile a lot?
- Sure like this =) =)

What was your first thought when you looked in the mirror this morning?
- Hopes is a pleasant day and wont be that bored

What bed did you sleep in last night?
- Of course my own bed la =.="

Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
- - - - - - - Can i say .. Martin ?? @@ in skype is a phone also

If somebody likes you now would you like them to message you and tell you?
- Will take into consideration ?? Currently Single and Available

Who are all the people you have text messages from in your phone?
- No phone use now T.T Future got =) .. My mommy, My granddaughter, My bestie =)

Last time you laughed?
- Just wake only how to laugh =.="

How many hours sleep did you get last night?
- 5 hours only =.=

Would your parents be mad if you got pregnant today?
- =.=" Cant pregnant

What are you doing on Saturday?
- Missing someone badly =) among all Crazy Family Members =)

Who was the first person you heard this morning?
- Alicia mommy ^^

What did your last text message say? Who sent it to you?
- =( no message =.="

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
- Surely =.= but got one incident i want to know the reason, but sadly cant be told

If you could push one person off a mountain, who would it be?
- Someone that i hate so much =.="

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap?
- SWEAT =.= you are the one talking Crap ??

Has anyone disappointed you recently?
- Surely, everything is settle so Nothing already

What are you listening to?
- SONGS ~~ yippie

What is in your pocket?
- My room Key card

Where would you like to be right now?
- Be beside All the Family Members

Lamer Allan =.= again and again nothing to do ?? @@

stupid TAGGED

2008-10-17T08:14:00.003+08:00

What the, again another tag by Allan, eat full nothing to do !! ??

1.) What is the relationship of you and her/him?
- Friends ? / Bestie ? / Couple ? / Crazy Family members ?

2.) Your 5 impressions towards her/him?
- Caring
- Understanding
- Kind
- Charm
- Lovely

3.) The most memorable things she/he had done for you.
See who is the one, if is my darling, a lot of memorable things =) hard to list out

4.) The most memorable things she/he have said to you.
Got also don't want to tell out, all is inside my heart

5.) If she/he become your lover, you will..
= > Care and love her until my life is ended

6.) If she/he become your enemy, you will...
= > Don't ever think about it =P

7.) If she/he become your lover, she/he has to improve on..
- - - nothing =P because is good for me already got people want to care me =)

8.) If she/he become your enemy, the reason is..?
- - - don't KNOW

9.) The most desirable thing to do on her/him is?
- <> -

10.) The overall impression of her/him is..
- <> - =P

11.) How do you think the people around you feel about you?
Too talkative ? Too boring ?? don't know =P

12.) The character of you for yourself is?
Caring ? Kind ?

13.) What do you hate about yourself?
Too much to list ? =P

14.) The most ideal person you want to be is?
Mostly is caring person to other people that I loved

15.) For the people who care about you and like you, say something to them
Thanks for caring and be patient to me =) I glad to listen to what you all say =)

~ 10 Ppls To TaG ~
Sharon - My Beloved Darling
Martin - Forever BEstie
Nicole Sim - KinD Granddaughter
Alicia - Caring Mommy
Keit - Siao Blur Friend
Rachel - Funny and Lovely Sister
Nicole Yeoh - Understanding Daughter
MS - Luckily Niece
YX - Future ah SHOU ? Charming Grandniece
May Ling - Good Sister

Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?
Sei Tong - - Forever Friendship - - Good Brother ??

No. 3 a male or a female?
Female

If no. 7 and no. 10 were together, would it be a good thing?
Don't think so =.="

How about no. 5 and 8?
LoLz, Nicole will kill me =.="

What is no. 1 studying about?
Still Form 5, maybe chemist or architecture

Is no. 4 single?
Currently is, But she is protected by families =)

Say something about no. 6
Glad to have you as a sister =) always bring fun to me =) THANKS

stupid ALLAN no more tags please !!!!

Back to BLOGGIE

2008-10-13T11:22:00.004+08:00

Crazy ever things happen this few weeks, tension building surround me, even I didn't realize it until something happen last few weeks and most recently. It was very tough, the first time seeing such ridiculous things happen in front of me, maybe I was not ready to accept the fact also, but in the end finally solve it. Days pass quickly, December is right in front of my eyes, planned everything hopefully that it will happen. Work hard on my Semester 2 final exam, really is hard like a rock.

To start with = = >
Adding recently : - >
The most crazy family I involved in long time ago, finally on last Friday and Saturday, they hang out together without me yet of course, was very funny when they told me, specially Nicole and Keit, oh my god why you two so funny when being together, some more kissing each other in a restaurant. TO my granddaughter, I really thought you were very protective, after this incident, I really change my opinion towards you, but then you always be my protective granddaughter ^^. Well on Friday, it is also the first time Rachel and Martin met each other, they went to hang out everyday so fun, throw me alone for mostly of Friday and Saturday. A big family with everyone support each other, well they support me a lot with my darling, even i come across a problem, they very care and help me a lot on it. Recently a lot of photos updated by them during their hang out. Oh gosh, my mommy with Martin really looks like couple, poorly they can't really be together as a couple, each of them has their own target. And also recently adding to Martin family is his daughters and granddaughter, ( whoa you want to compete with me!! =P, luckily still same same, BESTIE ever ) Elder daughter Jasmine, well don't really know her yet, just have a few chat, and ( Specially dedicated to you my niece )youngest daughter Sharon MS, during her week break, everyday have a chance to talk to her, know her well already i think, she told me that she likes to boom people specially to her daddy =P, but not to this uncle, well she was a good niece =).In future will adding a in law for me in Martin's family, everyone in the family also looking forward to see who will be the luckily girl, maybe is the one right beside you always, MARTIN OPEN YOUR BIG EYES AND LOOK FOR IT. TO my mommy, you really look nice in the picture with Martin, really hope to see you in December, so near yet so long. TO my grandniece, YX , well she was a bit of surprising, Martin ..... ( don't want to list yet ), I had a close talk to her, knowing her personality, well, I told her, "Martin is a good guy to have as a friend and a partner, just consider it, I know is still early to decide try your best" !! ^^ !!

A big family Picture will be updated in December = = - looking forward to meet all of you.

The progressing of my animation was a bit slow now, will catch up bit by bit later, don't worry guys =)

To end with = = >
Thanks to you all, I feel better a lot ^^ will work hard ^^ .. love you all so much =) muakkss ^^

---PEN OFF ---

Sien Things

2008-10-10T21:58:00.003+08:00

MIDnight TAGGED xD so sleepy :P
WASTing TIME things =)

Name : Nicholas
Nickname : Kendo
Married : Don't Know :P
Zodiac Sign : Aries
Gender : See name also know is Man la.
Age : 19 years old 6 months!!
High School : CLHS ... SuCkz School forEveR !!
Height : 175 cm
Weight : Heavy dont know how much :P
Do you like urself : Why dont like ?
Piercing : U pierce urself la!!
Left or Right : why no middle de !!!
Are u a Freak : Yes your totally a freak =)
Hair : Grey
Skin : Of course Human skin
Allergic : No
What are u doing now : Doing a stupid things with typing
What will u do 1 hour later : Sleep
What will u do 10 years later : U want to know, 10 years later la

=lovely Family=
Live with mother/father/parents : parents
Siblings : 0
Eldest : ME
Youngest : ME also :P
Love / hate your family : Everyone also Love!! sohaikah ?

sweet Sweet Love =)

You found ur another half : Sure got
If yes, who is he/she : Sharon
If no, who u wan he/she to be : -
Time(s) in relationship : 1!! believe??
Ever woo boy/girl : Sure la if not how to got another half :P
Anyone woo u before : Dont think about it !! I am so ugly
Did anything wrong to your other half : Yes
What was/were the wrong u had done : Not enough care to her =)
Ever argue with ur other half : No
you with your other half since : August 2005
Are u straight/lesbo : what la .. :P
Reasons you love your other half : Because i love her la =.="
You and your other half in which stage : M... Guess urself :P
You woo he/she or he/she woo u: U think urself !!! =)
Have you ever think of marry he/she : Sure =)

*b F F*

Your first best friend : Jeff ( Game King )
Your first enemy : Dont know Who too much already !! :P
The friend you love the most : Love a friend ? nah ..love myself better =)
The enemy that you hate the most : surely is you =)
Your most beautiful girl friend : Sharon
Your most handsome boy friend : not much difference all is the same :P
The girl you hate the most : Got , dont want to list out, in penang mia, M knows =)
The kind of boy you hate the most : PpK people, toot betrayer !!!
you fall in love with your close friend before : NO!!
Your best friend is yout ex-lover : 1st love only =) where got EX !! :P
If your friend backstabbing you : I chop them into 18 pieces and feed the fish =)
If your friend betray you : I send them to find their ancestor =)
If your friend woo your lover : Wa, i take modify bazuka-sword =) chase them 9 streets =)
If your friend fall in love with you : Wont ever happen =)
If you fall in love with your best friend : Wont happen also =) loyal to her only =)

>studies!!GOD SAVE ME<

Are you a good student : A fool only be a good student
You always do your homework/assignment : See my moody !!
Teacher/lecture you love the most : No one ?
Always late to school/college : No =) very good boy lai de =)
Your class : Dont know woo too many class in Uni =X
You love your senior : i call them go die =)
Senior you love the most : die liao where can love !
Your class good/bad : Normal la
Excellence result classmate : Too many people, dont know who also!!
Laziest classmate : Surely la.. is me =)

*sTranGer*

Smart People : Act dont know =X
Stupid People : Act gao gao ? xD
Good looking people : Dont want to look also =)
Ugly People : Not every ugly people is bad =)
Funny People : friend with them
Cute People : talk can liao, dont so close
Bad people : RUN
Honest telling people : depends
Acting people : act what first ? .. depends :P
You are what kind of people : ME ? abnormal, crazy also =)

what i like? well..here we go..

Lips or eyes : no
Hugs or kisses : BOTH ?
Shorter or taller : either ... or ???
Hesitant or spontaneous : spontaneous
Nice stomach or nice arm : Arm la
Listener or talker : Both
Romantic or rich : Romantic
Good wife or Good mother : what la, both also 1 only.. both la =)

*FuTure*

The age of marry : 27-30
Number of kids : Max 2 ( a son / a daughter ) idol family
Career : Engineer
Salary : At least 70k Income Monthly
Retirement Age : 60 ?? 70 ?? see lor =)
Properties value : 1,2,3,4 dont know leh cant finish counting
Wishes : to be with Sharon forever =) and many more =)

DONT WORRY naa =) no MORE ppl will kena de =)

Filling the Boredem with Mood ???

2008-09-27T15:46:00.002+08:00

Well, in the middle of the weekends already , feel so bored now, even i write my animation till half way didn't have the mood to continue, just thinking what will i do next , when will i see my mad friends, and specially when can i see her... no matter how, i still like a stupid fool sitting around the laptop once again, looking at my animation, and asking myself " why can't i write, haizz "

Writing while Waiting

2008-09-27T10:46:00.002+08:00

Today was a weird day although is just started not long ago, no need to guess also know what i am doing, surely always waiting for her and missing her again ^^. Annoyingly, i just recover a bit of my hands injuries, i have to continue start writing again, i can't stop writing right now, if not i will be bored to death already. Well, saw mommy's blog, she was so pretty with or without specs, wee mommy u are the best mom that i have, really really love you so much. Some more you always help out when i am really in trouble, really luckily to have you as a mommy. Nicole also look great with her hair tied up ^^ .Well she is a weird one too, always nudge me and say " I MISS KEIT SO MUCH !!" i also don't know what to react, feel happy for them, surely is, going to 4 months together!! , congrats to Nicole too ^^
Today also a frustrated day, same like others, early in the morning wake up and nothing to do, looking on the laptop, look up my assignments, HAIZ!! , thought somebody can help me with that, ended up nothing happen also. WORK ON IT YA YA!! ( Some more my mind so miss her, can't stop thinking of her, her smile, her charm look, really miss her)
Martin now facing 1 vs 40 people, don't know how was him? die already ? or going to police station if the case came to an unhappy ending. Well waiting him to tell me what happen, DON'T ALWAYS BE SO RUDE TO A GIRL =)
Haiz, my hands really really hurts, typing even a word also is getting harder and harder, My daughter Nicole suggest me to rest more in order to get walk through further road, but i can't just pen off right now, i also can't rest until i finish everything that i study first. Well Nicole, i will rest well after i go back to Penang, with the care of my beloved and families, feel so warm ^^ now the only way is to endure the pain and walk. YES I WILL DO IT!!!
Finishing up the weekends of my holidays already, this past 2 weeks was a BAD week i can say, so many things happen around me, and towards me, hitting hard on me, well have to endure harder with the pain on me, HARD FOUGHT BATTLE AT LAST WILL GET ITS REWARD, i really believe in that, with Alicia, both Nicole, and specially to my beloved Sharon. I really hope that this world really have some miracle, helping me around sometimes, but its up to me to make sure that the miracle really happens.!!
YEAH, my auntie says supporting me to go find you, and my families in KL, the feeling really happy, but it is very hard i feel so harsh that i have to get my auntie support only i can go to KL, no matter what, i really thankful to her, i really hope that my parents will allow me to go better then i sneaking away from them and go. Weird me, don't know, maybe i am their only son, and i must think what's good for them and what's bad for them, but in overall, i really happy that i can meet up her =)

[Regret] [Wish]

2008-09-21T21:35:00.002+08:00

Everyone also have a wish, when we wishing for something, we always say inside our heart and hope that it will be realize.

Wish(祝愿)
作词:Sowelu
作曲:Shinichiro Murayama
演唱:Sowelu

世界中(せかいじゅう)いくつの〖这个世界上的爱〗
愛(あい)の形(かたち)あるんだろう〖有许许多多不同的形式〗
一人一人(ひとりひとり)違(ちが)うものを〖每个人都沐浴着不同的爱〗
抱(かか)えながら生(い)きてる〖走在各自的人生〗
家族(かぞく)や友達(ともだち)や〖无论是亲人还是朋友〗
同(おな)じゴール見(み)る仲間(なかま)〖或者是有着相同目标的伙伴〗
みんながいて支(ささ)え合(あ)って〖正因为有彼此的支持与关怀〗
今(いま)の私(わたし)がいるの〖才会有今天的我存在〗
いつも侧(そば)にあった大切(たいせ)なもの〖真正珍贵的宝物就在我身边〗
気(き)づかずにいた事(こと)知(し)った〖直到今天我才察觉到这一点〗

自分(じぶん)の为(ため)だけに〖人如果只是为自己而活〗
生(い)きるのは寂(さび)しい〖人生必定是会充满了寂寞〗
せっかくこの世界(せかい)に生(う)まれたんだから〖我们的生命是多么的来之不易〗
Everybody have to say good-bye〖每个人都注定会说再见〗
それならいくつもの〖既然如此我多么希望〗
笑颜(えがお)をあなたにあげたい〖将笑容留作你对我的回忆〗

小(ちい)さな顷(ころ)見(み)てた〖尽管我们年少之时〗
新(あたら)しいものたちが〖曾经为之惊异的新奇事物〗
今(いま)ではもう当(あ)たり前(まえ)に〖到了如今这个时代〗
なってしまってるけど〖已经沦为司空见惯的东西〗
時(とき)が経(た)つにつれて〖尽管随着时光变迁〗
目(め)に映(うつ)るもの全(すべ)て〖映在我们眼中的一切事物〗
変(か)わってゆく壊(こわ)れてゆく〖都在渐渐老旧渐渐改变〗
でも記憶(きおく)はそのまま〖可欢乐的回忆永不会褪色〗
暗闇(くらやみ)の中(なか) 見(み)つけた星(ほし)たちは〖曾经在黑夜中寻觅到的星辰〗
まだ心(こころ)の中(なか)で光(ひか)る〖在我心中依旧璀璨如同往昔〗

自分(じぶん)の痛(いた)みより〖比起自己承受过的伤痛〗
あなたに伝(つた)えたい〖更愿与你分享我的欢乐〗
何十亿人(なんじゅうおくにん)もの中(なか)出(で)会(あ)えたから〖毕竟我在茫茫人海遇见了你〗
Everybody have to say good-bye〖每个人都注定会说再见〗
だからこそ素直(すなお)に〖正因为这样我才希望〗
たくさん笑颜(えがお)を見(み)せたい〖为你送上我最坦诚的笑容〗

限(かぎ)られた時(てき)の中(なか)で〖在匆匆而过的人生中〗
ah... 何(なに)かできるだろう〖我们到底能做些什么〗
どんなに悲(かな)しい事(こと) 辛(つら)い事(こと)も〖无论怎样悲伤怎样伤痛〗

必(かなら)ず笑颜(えがお)に変(か)えるから〖最后都会化作彼此的笑容〗

きっと…〖一定会…〗
Everybody needs somebody' s love〖每个人都需要有人关爱〗
愛(あい)が必要(ひつよう)なの〖爱是生命中必不可少的〗
愛(あい)される事(こと)でまた笑颜(えがお)になれるから〖爱让我们抛开阴霭重拾笑容〗
Everybody wants to be happy〖每个人都希望得到快乐〗
あなたの幸(しあわ)せを〖为了祝你永远生活幸福〗
祈(いの)りながら私(わたし)は歌(うた)ってる〖我许下心愿为你唱起这首歌〗

Don't regret on the decision that you done on yourself and towards friends and family especially to the loves one.

regret
歌:星村麻衣
作詞:星村麻衣作曲:星村麻衣編曲:鈴木Daichi秀行

窓(まど)の外(ほか)の景色(けしき)　移(うつ)り変(か)わって
季節(きせつ)までがあたしを置(お)いてく
誰(だれ)より近(ちか)くにいて　不安(ふあん)の種(たね)に
どうしてあのとき気付(きづ)けなかった?
あなたの姿(すがた)が見(み)えなくなる前(まえ)に
たったのたった一言(ひとこと)「行(い)かないで」が言(い)えなかった
あなたが幸(しあわ)せならそれで
いいなんて絶対(ぜったい)に言(い)えない
ねじ曲(ま)がったこんな心(こころ)が
どうしようもないくらいあたしは嫌(きら)い

誕生日(たんじょうび)にもらった　イニシャルリング
思(おも)い出(で)せば辛(つら)いだけなのに
今更(いまさら)分(わ)かったのは　思(おも)う以上(いじょう)に
あなたを必要(ひつよう)としてたこと
二人(ふたり)で築(きず)いた時間(じかん)さえ壊(こわ)すように
心(こころ)と裏腹(うらはら)に出(で)てきた言葉(ことば)
味気(あじけ)ないサヨナラ
あなたがすごく後悔(こうかい)する
そんな日(ひ)が来(く)ること望(のぞ)んでる
意地悪(いじわる)で醜(みにく)い心(こころ)が
昨日(きのう)よりももっとあたしは嫌(きら)い

あなたが幸(しあわ)せならそれで
いいなんて絶対(ぜったい)に言(い)えない
ねじ曲(ま)がったこんな心(こころ)が
どうしようもないくらいあたしは嫌(きら)い
あなたがすごく後悔(こうかい)する
そんな日(ひ)が来(く)ること望(のぞ)んでる
意地悪(いじわる)で醜(みにく)い心(こころ)が
昨日(きのう)よりももっとあたしは嫌(きら)い

The scenery outside the window changes
Even the season leaves me behind
Being closer than anyone, why didn't I realize
That seed of worries at that time?

Before I'm unable to see your figure
I couldn't say just that, just that one phrase of "don't go"

I can never say that it's fine as long as you're happy
I can't help but to hate this twisted heart

The initial ring I received on my birthday
Remembering only makes me painful but
What I finally realized is that I relied
On you more than I thought

As if to even destroy the times spent together
The words that came out contrary to my heart was a good-bye in vain

I'm wishing that a day when you'll greatly regret will come
I hate this mean and ugly heart more than yesterday

I can never say that it's fine as long as you're happy
I can't help but to hate this twisted heart
I'm wishing that a day when you'll greatly regret will come
I hate this mean and ugly heart more than yesterday

Special Edition [Diamond Crevasse]
『ダイヤモンドクレバス』（Diamond Crevasse）
作詞：hal
作曲?編曲：菅野よう子
歌：シェリル?ノーム starring May'n

神様に恋をしてた頃は//當我愛上神的時候
こんな別れが来るとは思ってなかったよ//不曾想到會有這樣的離別
もう二度と触れられないなら//若不能再次和你相觸
せめて最後に　もう一度抱きしめて欲しかったよ//至少希望在最後能再次和你相擁
It's long long good-bye…//It's long long good-bye...
さよならさよなら何度だって//就算多次的說再見再見
自分に　無上に　言い聞かせて//無數次的讓自己聽到
手を振るのは優しさだよね？//雖說揮手是溫柔
今　強さが欲しい//現在我要的是堅強
貴方に出逢い//和你的邂逅
ＳＴＡＲ輝いて//星辰璀璨
アタシが生まれて//我生在此世
愛すればこそ//只要去愛
ｉあればこそ//只要我在
希望のない　奇跡を待って　どうなるの？//等待沒有希望的奇蹟將會怎樣？
涙に滲む//滲著淚
惑星の瞬きは　gone…//行星的瞬間 gone...
//
忘れないよ　貴方の温もりも//我忘不了你的溫暖
その優しさも全て包んでくれた両手も//忘不了你的溫柔和那雙包容一切的雙手
It's long long good-bye…//It's long long good-bye...
さよなら//再見
さよなら//再見
愛しい人//我的愛人
貴方が　いたから//因為有你
歩いてこれた//我方能走到此
ひとりなんかじゃなかったよね？//那時我並不孤單不是嗎？
今　答えが欲しい//現在我想得到答案
燃える様な流星　捕まえて　火を灯して//捕捉燃燒著一樣的流星點起火光
愛していたい//想去愛
愛されてたい//想被愛
冷えたカラダひとつで//靠一具冰涼的身軀
世界は　どうなるの？//世界能變成怎樣？
張り続けてた　虚勢が溶けてく　long for…//不一直虛張的聲勢融化 Long for...
//
どうしてなの？//為什麼？
涙溢れて//我淚如泉湧
止められない//無法抑止
//
貴方に出逢い//和你的邂逅
ＳＴＡＲ輝いて//星辰璀璨
アタシが生まれて//我生在此世
愛すればこそ//只要去愛
ｉあればこそ//只要我在
希望のない　奇跡を待ってどうなるの？//等等待沒有希望的奇蹟將會怎樣
涙に滲む//滲著淚
惑星の瞬きは　gone…//行星的瞬間 gone...
もし生まれ変わって　また巡り会えるなら//如果能來世再見
その時もきっと　アタシを見つけ出して//那時一定要找到我
もう二度と離さないで捕まえてて//請緊抓著我再不分離
ひとりじゃないと　囁いてほしい　planet…//想你對我耳語: 你不是個孤單的planet

Found out that Morning Musume songs rocks, you guys should check it out !!! =)

Unwanted Misrable Week

2008-09-20T20:22:00.004+08:00

Last week was a bit of outrages, but this week it was really totally not me, getting into so much trouble on studies and even worst, i still have the shadow of what my father told me, i really hates that he comes in and say, " I don't want you to have this, don't want you to write this on your net=.=" " really shock me out, this is a net, everyone have to write some own personal data to know more friends so outdated. The whole study things make me feel so pressure and the heat is beating inside my heart, totally lost control on Thursday night, with no one around to accompany me that night, it was a bit tough to survive, as the past few days i thought i can handle all the pressure in the study, but disappointing i could not do it very well. This week my heart starting to have some effect of pressure and stress, starting to have some painful beat, even make my muscle having the effect, OUCH that was hurt(it was really hurt just the same i have during my SPM) Thankfully got a good charming person(my wife)accompany me on Thursday night, really really thankful to her for wasting some of her time listen to what i going to say. After talking to her, i feel more relax and calm for a while, after chatting with her, what ever goes to my mind was so sweet. She really is an angel to me, everyday accompanying me even though she has her own trial exam, hope that she does well. Today, we talk back the past that we had together and the break out, and the late known truth makes me feel that she was suffering so hard from it, and i don't know even one thing, really touched by what she done, she don't want me to get hurt from what she have done. I understand that feel, it is really hard to handle, i really love you so much, Sharon.

There was a confusion happen too, Martin now got a new target, congrats him, first time ever see him change his heart except for W, no more W , now is Yvonne, i so grateful that he change his target, but something happen this week related to him and W. At first, W told me there is something wrong in her, i told her not to think so much on it and maybe she can forget about it, i really thought it was just study and results pressure only, but on Friday, i was shock that how come Martin know that there is problem on W, frankly speaking, i think that W does not want Martin to know anything about it, well, that day at noon, i talked to her, i ask her, " why you expose your problem to Martin ?? " but she didn't answer me anything, she just say, " you better don't tell anything that i told u to Martin. " . When i realize it, Martin already know what is going on, i wonder why W will let Martin know when she does so hate him so much now( what i think ). Today was the day they two decided things out, although i don't know what is the end results yet, but still hope that i no need to go back so fast to attend your wedding party.

Last night was talking to Mommy Alicia, she was so nice to me and her other 2 sons, that night, is just we two as Martin went to a waste money Prom Night by Inti, told him already waste money and energy. That moment, i know that she cares all the friends that surround her, she was a great mommy to have, even told me that Nicole my granddaughter was sick. She even care my wife too, so good girl, hard to find already, who ever have her as a girl friend and partner, really have to take good care of her if not, he will be haunted by Martin, Keit and ME !!! Mommy have a great smile to her instinct, she likes to laugh often, makes the family so warm =)

Well talking about my granddaughter, she also was a cute little girl to me now, she was a nice girl to talk to, always " Grandpa i want chocolate, please buy for me" , oh yeah chocolates, i wont forget it, don't worry granddaughter. Wednesday was talking to her i guess forget which date already, she lied to me said that she want to go and study, but then she was on the phone with Keit, oh my god, less 1 chocolate for you =). Then Friday i saw her, she just recover from her bad illness, alright, add back chocolate for you =), when i heard that she was sick, i really worry her, well she was the second girl that can make me so touched. That noon, i really was thinking " how was her, how was her, hopefully she is alright " =) worry too much, really feel that i am a old guy.

Entrusted World

2008-09-15T20:30:00.002+08:00

Well, back to my blog, so long didn't write anything on to it already, busy writing my own animation and some assignment to do, so got some lazy to write too :) Ya, i waited so long for Raymond newest album to release, finally on September 10th, wee so nice, specially one song " From Tomorrow Onwards", well this song reminds me of me and her, particular when we have some trouble from the past, very hate it sometimes in the past, the lost of something so important, like got a big hole in my heart. Well, this is a new week, not much thing to do yet, writing my animation and of course my assignments, assignments hate it. I think for mostly of the student, have to pass up to get marks, yup yup Nicholas, time to do assignments :)
Last week, passing time with my beloved darling, mommy, granddaughter and brother, don't know why, i so like to talk to them, not included my darling, because she was the most important person in my life, i have entrusted whole life to her already, is my granddaughter, she touched my heart with her caring to me being a grandfather is the best =) free "chicken soap" to drink "ahem", oh well, hope that keit don't jealous and kill me :P Part of my life got this kind of friend like Martin, Nicole Sim,Alicia, Nicole Yeoh, and Keit should be very nice to me.
Weekends was bad as i saw my parents friendster account was in my view list, from the beginning i thought nothing will happen, not long after that, my father online and tell me, you should not put this picture in your friendster, later people take and edit to make bad of your name, what ever =.=" later told me, i should not put so much details on my info, what the, my name and age only , is call much info =.=" , but that day, really thanks to my beloved who accompany me for the whole day, thanks my darling, "daiski" ^^
Finally left readers a good duet ^^
明天以后 - 林峰泳儿

作曲：伍仲衡/冯颖琪
填词：伍仲衡/冯颖琪
改编词：姜忆萱

在你的记忆里面有一个我
在你最痛苦的时候陪你度过
难过过了天晴朗了我就走
你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦
在你的面前我不必保留
还来不及对你说迟到的我的心动
你的好你的坏
我的脾气你最懂
我不要你心疼我（我不要你离开我）
明天的以后我们会懂
失恋的挫折让人变更成熟
我对你感觉胜过爱情
因为有你给我勇气
给我用不完的运气
其实也想好好爱你
只怕到最后不小心让你伤心（我不怕会伤心）
对不起我对你再好再亲密都不能在一起
最后看你在别人怀里
有天我会找到我的唯一（我并不是你的唯一）
还微笑祝福你

你拯救我的寂寞我的痛我的梦
在你的面前我不必保留
我从来没对你说压抑的我的心动
我的好我的坏我的脾气你最懂
我不要你来心疼我
明天的以后我们会懂
失恋的挫折让人变更成熟
我对你感觉胜过爱情
因为有你给我勇气
给我用不完的运气
其实也想好好爱你
只怕到最后不小心让你伤心（我不怕会伤心）
对不起我对你再好再亲密都不能在一起
最后看你在别人怀里
有天我会找到我的唯一（我并不是你的唯一）
还微笑祝福你

爱情总让人折磨
所以我们才选择做比情人更好的朋友
我对你感觉胜过爱情
因为有你给我勇气
给我用不完的运气
其实也想好好爱你
只怕到最后不小心让你伤心（我不怕会伤心）
对不起我对你再好再亲密都不能在一起
最后看你在别人怀里
有天我会找到我的唯一（我并不是你的唯一）
还微笑祝福你

Lover's Song

2008-09-07T20:46:00.002+08:00

Well, remember when i was young, i heard that every couple will have their own song. Well i feel this song is deeply really touch my heart with lyrics.

snow tears

作詞：1pack market、中川翔子
作曲：鈴木大輔
歌：中川翔子

あなたがくれた夢の続き　色づいてく世界【是你给予了我梦想的延续让我的世界有了色彩】
言葉なくてもただとなりで【即使一言不发陪伴你身旁】
感じられた奇跡【也能感受到这份奇迹】

いつまでもその先の未来を【当时的我原本还天真地认为】
分け合えると思った【从今以后能与你一同去面对】

降りしきる雪の中に【大雪纷飞仿佛纷飞在我心中】
さよならが積もってゆく【你的道别如同积雪将我掩埋】
何もかも分からなくて　泣きたくなくて【我已毫无知觉我已无力哭泣】
でもどこかで祈ってる【只一味在这风雪中祈祷】
この声が届くように【祈祷你能听见我的呼唤】

すれ違う日も会えない日も【就好像是为了在没有你之后】
強くいられるように【让我也能够继续坚强】
小さくついたどんな嘘も【曾经那些小小的退缩与谎言】
気付いてくれたよね【你都一次次为我指出】

いつまでもその先の未来を【当时的我原本还天真地期望】
二人で見てたかった【从今以后愿与你一同去体会】

降りしきる雪の中に【大雪纷飞仿佛纷飞在我心中】
さよならが積もってゆく【你的道别如同积雪将我掩埋】
何もかも届かなくて　逃げ出せなくて【我已无法传递我已无力逃脱】
ただ立ち尽くして泣いた【只一味呆立风雪中哭泣】
声が枯れるほど泣いた【直到我再也哭不出声音】

この世界は回り続けるのに【世界明明在不停循环旋转】
あなたがいない景色は【可是这片失去了你的景色】
うつろいでゆく　色褪せてゆく【却渐渐失去色彩一去不返】

降りしきる雪の中に【大雪纷飞仿佛纷飞在我心中】
消えてゆく　うしろすがた【你的背影渐渐消失在我眼前】
残された私だけが動けずに居た【剩下孤单的我不愿挪动脚步】
まだどこかで祈ってる【只一味在这风雪中祈祷】
この声が届くように【祈祷你能听见我的呼唤】

Lazy Week

2008-09-07T19:12:00.002+08:00

So fast already passed a week already, i felt that i have done nothing, just learn more new things on the lecturers and labs. Well it end up i thought it would be some fascinating things to learn, it was a complex theory that makes me going nuts and crazy sooner or later. NO IDEA, have to learn to survive for my work. Well weekends was a bit better when my darling can online, intro her to some good families of mine, specially mommy, well, both of them had a great chat, so happy. P.S. my head will be growing bigger and bigger as time flows by, the lecturer makes me crazier as his stupid theory so hard to understand, specially to my MATHS!
Back to fantasy world,it could not be a fantasy later as well, we plan to build one, starts from the beginning with nothing. Well Martin intro one of his friend to join our unbelievable imaginary scene, well he was C.J., heard martin said that he was a good strategy person, done some business with his parents, good experience, maybe it was what we needed, no strategy we can't do anything. At least now, we two have our own target to do, i have to fight for my own future first only can cooperate with him, tough tough, a lot of pressure on myself too, some more wish all the good luck to my darling who going to be in war zone in 1 week time, oh yeah, support you!!
Well nevertheless, Martin and I also planning to build an island name, MarNic island, with international airport services to there, a high rated hotel with super shopping plaza, worldwide best international hotel, specially organize for President, wow, don't know what he is thinking, but then, want to be success must add a lot of effort on it.
Eagerly waiting to going back to Malaysia, to meet 4 girls that i care and love me so much,and who treat me very well( this is what i feel only, don't know how they feel too) firstly, Sharon my beloved, second Alicia my mommy, third both my daughter and granddaughter Nicole, and finally my sister An. Well guys place, they know i also know, don't need to write out also know already :P Have to be more patient to wait for time to pass faster.
Time to go, well i planning to write my own animation, can't draw too bad, have to improve my drawing before i can officially draw a character, my drawings on human is totally like, oh my god is that a human or a funny piece of shit. CIAO!! TAKE CARE :)

For Seeking a Bright New Future

2008-09-03T18:30:00.002+08:00

Anyone also want to have a bright future, so does me and one of my really best friend of mine, Martin. Well, we two have many similarities, always day dreaming about our future, with our company name call MarNic Co.( temporary name ). We two really mean it, putting our main aim at 30 years old before to create this company take over many good companies, doing a big multi purpose company. We still aim that we get our 1st ton of gold before 30 years old, well i think the ambition is there, the motivation also there, just whether we can be success in the later features only. Well a lot of people among our newest friends thought that we are gays, well specially, J , her first impression that seeing us being together was this, wow! wow! , i never thought about it, madness!! Well recently we didn't think about it, we are so busy for our own assignments, he got his own "flower" to find, i have my "flower" to take care of.
Well I am Nicholas, 19 and he is Martin, 17, it is destined that we two meet each other as mainly i thought. We met each other well well, in a DoTa match, he was a friend of my other friend, so we meet there and that time we always challenge people till crazy. Every weekend gather along the channel and start to burst already.
Since then i and him started to know each other well, hanging out not so often yet until we quite know each other. Till last year, maybe i being fooled by mostly of my friend, felt that he was the only trusted friend i only had, started to find him often, hanging out, go eat dinner together, Unforgettable Memories on last year due to many things happen surrounding me. Meanwhile, he also had many good and bad things happen, for the reason we understand each other well, now our bond will become stronger and stronger. Sharing our life experience to each other, take caring of each other, and maybe, will end up in the same apartment different building different block only. We just can't easily be separated, even now we being separated in different country.
Even since then, he intro me some good friends, Nicole, Keit, and the most important is Alicia.
Now we have become a family already, thanks to our mommy, Alicia for bringing us together, since then, we treat her also very good, repaying for take caring us so well, Mommy :) Well putting a stop to here first. Continue more next time :)
So many days didn't write a blog, because i was busy accompany my beloved darling, she is going to sit for her trial, well, 2 days more didn't see her online already,everyday sure is adding pressure to herself to get a better results, don't know how she is doing today too, hopefully she is alright. As long as she is alright, i will be fine and happy already, now i do a responsible person and husband to her, i will tell her how i am doing day by day to her, so miss her. Hope that she will get what she wanted. Sometimes i worrying her, i wont tell her also, writing here makes me feel better a lot. Don't Worry on Me darling, do your best in exam can already, LOVE YOU !! :)
2 days sure happen a lot of things, such as Nicole suddenly come and ask me many weird weird question and call me must answer, i sure answer her if i know how to answer it, and then the other Nicole Yeoh, i called her so many times, but at the end no replies. Hopefully her case don't be the same as what I am thinking then I will be glad already. Well pen off here.

A Stepping Stone through The Future

2008-09-01T09:23:00.002+08:00

Having another pleasure day yesterday, thanks to the one who always accompanying me to the end, i really do appreciate what u done to me and i will follow our path of our destiny to be together forever, let the promise bring us together as long as we can survive through this world, to the endless path ^^. Well throughout the weekend, my granddaughter don't know how she is doing, hope that she is doing great, while i ^^ accompanying my beloved darling throughout the whole weekend, really nothing to do but that.
It was a happy moment yesterday, moment that for me is hard to forget, as i always make her smile sweetly. I very like her smile as warm through my heart, makes me feel so comfort and relax. Time flew by, a blink of an eye, our relationship have been nearly 3 years, pass through so many test and we fought it so hard together, maybe this is really fate that bring we two together. No matter what is in front of us, we can make it to the end, that was what i promise her at the end, well it really makes me feel i so miss her, really miss her a lot :)

Curing the Boredom

2008-08-31T08:17:00.002+08:00

long time no blog already, i think it had been 3 days since my last blog, well, i am busy with my studies and accompanying my beloved darling, a few days ago, i wasn't expecting her to be able to online, well she appeared and appeared, makes me feel so happy and enjoy, because while chatting with her, she can makes me calm down and relax a bit while study in a hard war. ^^ thanks to her, well on Thursday, we managed to talk in a boring afternoon since i and her finish our classes, well, i heard that she is going to tuition so i appreciate all the time being with her, as a result , her tuition was cancel ( that time i was totally happy ), in our heart, something special that can ring my heart to miss her to the maximum, well that kind of feel was a bit hard to describe, really do miss her much.
Since that day, after all my classes, well , something odd happen, i came back to my room, starting to hug my pillow, don't even want to let go off it, just like in the past ^^ , i always does the same thing ^^ . Promise her a lot of things that must be done, importantly is my health, don't want to let her worry about me so much, she want to face her important test already, well darling, i will support u to the end of our journey of our life ^^ LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!!

Lion - Megumi Nakajima / May'n

2008-08-28T19:48:00.002+08:00

Well another song from Macross Frontier, is quite nice, i like their sound, and their duet is top to the max :)
ライオン / 獅子座 / Lion

TVアニメ「MACROSS FRONTIER」OP2
作詞：Gabriela Robin
作曲&編曲：菅野よう子
歌：シェリルノーム（May'n）／ランカリー（Megumi Nakajima）

星をまわせ　世界の真ん中で
星星在這個世界的中心旋轉著
Go around the stars, right in the middle of the world
くしゃみすれば
打個噴嚏的話
When I sneeze
どこかの　森で蝶が亂舞
就會有蝴蝶在叢林中飛舞
Butterflies flutter wildly in a forest somewhere
君が守る　ドアの鍵デタラメ
你守護的大門鑰匙已經銹蝕了
It's not certain for you to protect the key to the door
恥ずかしい物語舐め合っても　ライオンは強い
即使體驗到了難爲情的故事獅子依然堅強
Even if he tastes an embarrassing story, The lion is strong

生き殘りたい　生き殘りたい
想要活下去想要活下去
I want to survive, I want to survive
まだ生きてたくなる
想要繼續的活下去
I feel like I still want to live
星座の導きで　今見つめ合った
隨著星座的指引讓此刻的我們可以互相的凝視
By the guidance of the constellations, We gazed at each other just now
生き殘りたい　途方に暮れて
想要活下去已經沒有退路了
I want to survive, There is no place to run
キラリ枯れてゆく
在一瞬間枯萎
And wither away in a sparkle
本気のカラダ　見せ付けるまで
在展現真實的自我之前
Until I show off my serious self
私眠らない
我絕不會入眠
I won't Sleep

風はやがて　東へ向かうだろう
這陣風不久後會往東邊而漂
The wind will head toward the East before long, Right ?
解き明かすこの星のドアを襲う
高氣壓向著星之門奇襲
The high atmospheric pressure attacks the glaciers of this planet
誘い水を飲んだ胸がつらい
誘惑之水喝了之後卻感覺到胸口是如此的難受
My chest after drank the priming water feels painful
遠巻きな物語り　かじり合う　骨の奧まで
從遙遠傳來的故事混雜交錯的包圍著我　深至骨髓裏
And gnaws on you, Deep into your bones

生き殘りたい　生き殘りたい
想要活下去想要活下去
I want to survive, I want to survive
まだ生きてたくなる
想要繼續的活下去
I feel like I still want to live
星座の導きで　今見つめ合った
隨著星座的指引讓此刻的我們可以互相的凝視
By the guidance of the constellations, We gazed at each other just now
生き殘りたい　途方に暮れて
想要活下去已經沒有退路了
I want to survive, there is no place to run
キラリ枯れてゆく
在一瞬間枯萎
And wither away in a sparkle
本気のカラダ　見せ付けるまで
在展現真實的自我之前
Until I show off my serious self
私眠らない
我絕不會入眠
I won't sleep

何しに生まれたの？
我爲了什麽而生？
What was i born to do?
何しにここにいる？
我爲何會在這裡？
What am I here to do?

生き殘りたい　埋まらない傷
想要活下去被埋藏的傷痕
I want to survive, My unburied wounds
光　恐れてた
畏懼著光明
Feared the light
許された命が　今惹かれ合った
這個生命是被允許的嗎如今深深的被吸引著
Our lives, which want to be allowed, attracted each other just now
彷徨い果てて　君のとなりで
彷徨的結束了在你的身旁
My wandering is over, I'm right next to you
火照り鎮めたい
平息我羞紅的臉頰
I want quell my blushing
本気のカラダ　見せ付けるまで
在展現真實的自我之前
Until I show off my serious self
私　眠らない
我絕不會入眠
I won't sleep

生き殘りたい　崖っぷちで良い
想要活下去就算身處懸崖的邊緣也無所謂
I want to survive, I'm fine with being on the edge of a cliff
君を愛してる
我深愛著你
I deeply love you
目覚めたい気持ちが　今惹かれ合った
這覺醒的心情如今深深的被吸引著
Our lives, which want to awaken, enticed each other just now
狂喜に変えて　祈り捧ぐよ
欣喜若狂　奉上我的祈禱
Instead of madness, I offer a prayer
君を愛してる
我深愛著你
I deeply love you
星座の導きで...
隨著星座的指引
By the guidance of the constellations

生き殘りたい　まだ生きてたい
想要活下去想要繼續的活下去
I want to survive, I still want to live
君を愛してる
我深愛著你
I deeply love you
本気のココロ　見せ付けるまで
在展現真實的決心之前
Until I show off my serious heart
私　眠らない
我絕不會入眠
I won't sleep

My Dearest Mommy, Alicia

2008-08-28T17:28:00.002+08:00

Mommy Alicia was the first girl that was very impressed by keit, martin and me, so we decided to called her mommy, well she also was a close friend to my granddaughter, both call themselves (
they know themselves not my case ) oh well, don't care them. I know her through them of course, the most crazy msn gang ever, well in the group conversation nothing to chat the most with martin domination, outside 1on1 chat, well she was a nice adorable girl, a good thinker ( she knows what she thinks not suite to tell out :P) sorry if insult you mommy, but then well, she done a great job as a mommy.
Well the job such as, me(elder son) she send to Australia for further studies, Martin ( second son ) she send to Penang for further studies too, Keit ( youngest son ) stay in KL with her, our youngest brother has a big job to do as he is responsible on taking care of her. She some more gave us a lot of advice to us, all quite meaningful, a long planner maybe. Well year end Martin and I going to visit her, that time is just like family gathering, feel so nice :)

Memorable Day

2008-08-28T16:48:00.003+08:00

Wee, at first, today at class was a bit of weird, but still my maths class, sure was fun, i like maths so much, i also contacted with my sifu ( teacher ) who teach me from standard 2 to form 2 i guess or form 3, he treated me like a brother of his now, so glad, chat with him was so happy. He is the one who let me be an idol on, because he was very successful ( on my opinion ), he also makes me feel that engineering was a fun course and many challenge ahead for me to pass through, just like what i being suffer with my beloved darling. He some more lecturing me how to get a confirm love, teaches me how to be a responsible,dedicated man , but then i knew, that girl of mine, sze hean was a great girl to have, she really cares me a lot, i do really love her.
Well talking about her, today i saw her online, what a great surprise to see her online, she said she have to stay back and tuition plus study. We do chat a lot of great things while we are online, feel so relief that i having her as a good girlfriend( she knows what i call her already so i think i don't need to express anything here ), or maybe will be wife officially later, i know she knows :) We have nice chat overall, saw her smile face a lot today too, i feel like going to kiss her or hug her closely when she smiles, really is kind and sweet. Thanks to her i have a memorable day.Really cant wait to meet her already, arghh !!
Now chatting with my granddaughter, Nicole, well , she was a bit of shock today looking at someone's testimonial, just having a great talk with her too. Well everyone does have their own opinion on love, sometimes the decision is quite cruel is totally up the person own thinking, but then is for their own loves one, nothing wrong. My granddaughter is a big busy person in her school, what also want to do, wrong i should say what also force to do, poor her, well must take care yourself, don't get sick.

A Meaningful Person to Me

2008-08-28T08:54:00.003+08:00

As so far in my life,as let u all know I am the only son in the family, but was pleased that i have a good darling that can be with me forever, also thanks to her that to introduce me a meaningful girl to me too, she is May Ling, also well known as my sister(closely to me and her only :P). As i know her, she was a very cheerful person, knows how to cheer people up. The very first day when i know her, was talking to her for a while only , then she like disappeared to another world, didn't see her for a long time. After a long nearly six months, she show up again, but i couldn't know it was her, when i first saw that msn, thinking who was that anyway, didn't had any memory on adding her recently. Very funny, then almost people, approached and talked to her, and finally she dig up the time when i knew her, and i said " oh, it was you, long time no see" !! now think back it was quite lame !! As time goes by, her characteristics were so helpful to me, she is so calm, kind, patient to anything happen ( not always depends on what situation she is in ), but i can feel that she love this brother so much!! ( i think only hopefully is ) but nevertheless i can share anything to her if my beloved darling is not around, hehe also can pass some message to my beloved darling through her, a bit of outwork my sister, poor her, go back must treat her the best already!! yeah !!
After that we had a long chat once we both are online, naturally we also call each other brother and sister, well , i really treat her as my sister, because i really hope to get one and is very close to me. After i came to Australia, also very thanks to her for accompanying me for a such long time until now she still doing the same thing, because at here alone fight for my own future was a bit quite tough, although i have a great darling and family support.

Exciting day

2008-08-27T16:46:00.004+08:00

Well today was a bit of fun, learning new maths theory in different ways, i rather go to the tutorial then going to the lecture, don't know what the heck was the stupid lecturer talking about, graph graph argh !! hate it !! But never the less, today was feeling not myself, because my beloved darling didn't not online, feel like kinda weird because i do always miss her so much !! except that really is nothing much .. i also wondering .. what my daughter Nicole Yeoh was doing, sometimes her act was a bit worrying me, i also do miss her.. don't know my darling will jealous on her own daughter a not .. haha another quite lame story was, today i read kei's blog oh my, that was funny !!!

Cutie Granddaughter

2008-08-26T18:10:00.004+08:00

haha , very thx to a good friend of mine martin, for introducing a very nice girl to me, although she was a bit of girlish style when the first time we chat, like all normal girls, dont talk much, after that the feeling between her and me become so friendly, same case with my darling, we can talk anything. One day, not sure whether is her mood good or not, she suddenly call me grandpa, from that day onwards, she cant stop call me that, i also don't know why she call me, maybe she feel that i am old enough (on my looking) to be :P i call her explain to me why she call me grandpa, she said " u old enough to be my grandpa already, u have more experience," always call me tell the boring story to let her sleep, completely like doing a full duty father and grandfather already i don't really have a child yet, every story is after listen will be energetic. haha completely envy that she also have a good bf, martin cousin, kei, he treated her so lovely, sometimes so jealous about them can meet so often, thanks to us they be able to be together, i also glad that she has a good bf, a sigh of relief to me !!! :)

Quite a sien day

2008-08-26T18:03:00.002+08:00

today was talking to my darling best friend isabelle, she was so funny .. no comment, eagerly to meet me because i was her best friend dear.. aiyoyo, after that .. my darling have to off de cant talk to her much lee.. she have to continue to study le .. jia you oo my darlingg, dear support u forever !! i love u

Northern Cross - May'n

2008-08-26T15:11:00.003+08:00

This is Macross frontier Animation ending theme, quite nice :P

ノーザンクロス
作詞：岩里祐穂、Gabriela Robin
作曲・編曲：菅野よう子
歌：シェリル・ノーム starring May'n

旅のはじまりはもう思い出せない
I can’t recall the beginning of my journey anymore
気づいたら　ここにいた
When I noticed it, I was here
季節が破けて　未発見赤外線
The seasons tear apart, the undiscovered infrared ray
感じる眼が迷子になる
And my eyes that feel become lost

たぶん失うのだ
I’ll probably lose
命がけの想い
My desperate thoughts
戦うように恋した
I fell in love as if it’s war
ひたすらに夢を掘った
I earnestly dug up my dreams
その星に降りたかった
I wanted to land on your planet
君の空　飛びたかった
I wanted to fly through your space

誰か空虚の輪郭をそっと撫でたくれないか
Won’t someone please softly stroke the outline of the void?
胸の鼓動にけとばされて転がり出た愛のことば
Kicked away by the pounding in my chest, the words of love tumbled out
だけど　困ったナ　応えがない
But isn’t that problematic? There’s no answer
宿命にはりつけられた北極星が燃えてる
Crucified by fate, the Northern Star is burning
君をかきむしって濁らせた
I scratched you out and made you a cloudy blur
なのに　可憐に笑うとこ　好きだったよ
But still, I once loved how you laughed sweetly

君がいないなら意味なんてなくなるから
Because there will be no meaning if you are gone
人は全部消えればいい
So all people should disappear
愛がなくなれば心だっていらないから
Because I don’t even need my heart when there is no love
この世界も消えてしまえ
So this world, too- Go away

ずっと苦しかった
Our desperate meetings
命がけの出会い
Were always painful
もがくように夢見た
I dreamed as if struggling
やみくもに手をのばした
I reached out my hands recklessly
その胸に聞きたかった
I wanted to listen to your heart
君と虹　架けたかった
I wanted to build a rainbow bridge with you

誰か夜明けの感傷でぎゅっと抱いてくれないか
Won’t someone please embrace me tightly with the sentiments of daybreak?
夢の軌道にはじかれて飛び散るだけの愛のなみだ
Splattered by the orbit of dreams, the tears of love merely scatter
それが　むき出しの傷みでもいい
Even if it’s a bare pain, I’m fine with it
宿命に呼び戻された北極星が泣いてる
Called back by fate, the Northern Star is crying
どうせ　迷路生き抜くなら
If I somehow survive through the labyrinth
君を尽きるまで愛して死にたいよ
Then I want to love and die for you until you perish

そして始まるのだ
And then the desperate finale
命がけの終わり
Will begin
戦うように愛した
I loved as if it’s war
ぐしゃぐしゃに夢を蹴った
I kicked my dreams into ruins
その星に果てたかった
I wanted to end on your planet
君の空　咲きたかった
I wanted to bloom in your space

誰か空虚の輪郭をそっと撫でてくれないか
Won’t someone please softly stroke the outline of the void?
時の波動にかき消されて
The words of love that couldn’t be saved
救えなかった愛のことば
Were erased by the waves of time
だから　モウイチド　応えがほしい
So I want the answer once more
宿命にはりつけられた北極星が燃えてる
Crucified by fate, the Northern Star is burning
君をかきむしって濁らせた
I scratched you out and made you a cloudy blur
なのに　可憐に笑うとこ　好きだったよ
But still, I once loved how you laughed sweetly

君をかきむしって濁らせた
I scratched you out and made you a cloudy blur
なのに　可憐に笑うとこ　好きだったよ
But still, I once loved how you laughed sweetly

The beginning of my story

2008-08-26T11:30:00.000+08:00

Love is a very complicated for each human being, even my one, my story starts 3 years ago, when i was 16, i met her, hean at msn while i was at my friend's house doing project, i added her. Whenever she was on, i always abandon all my gaming and come out to talk to her,because i feel that she was a kind friendly person. We can talk anything, even our secret also can be discuss, and she told me that she has a bf, who was my senior in my school. That time i was totally shock, i knew that guy was so heroic in my school, don't know how to describe him. Later, i heard that she was going to meet him, i got a bad feeling that he wont be able to show up, as i thought, i heard she said, he was not going to come. After that incident, i offer every help i can to her, to make sure that she was safe. Actually that time, there was some feeling towards her, but i don,t want to make her think that i want to chase her when she was in this condition, so i always keep the feeling in my heart until it was time i tell out
After a few months later, I remember that day when i chase her, it was so shocked, i decided myself to chase her, but a shocking way of chasing her was i have been question by 6 of her friends, weird weird opening, at the first thought, i really think that long distance love is very hard to maintain, that time, i was only 16 and my usage of computer and hp had been limited, i was kinda tough to go on, but the relationship maintain for quite a long time. While months passed by, the relationship bond become stronger and stronger. After a year of our relationship, we met each other.
The very first day was a shocking one, when i saw her the very first time, she look to me i felt like why this girl so attracting me towards her. We have an enjoyable trip that time in overall, having a sweet memory on that day, i still remember it to now. After that disaster came as something goes wrong to our relationship and she offers for a break up, i was very dejected and sad, i try to calm down myself for a few months. After that, i really find a replacement , but after i going to approach to a girl with the love, i feel in my heart, there was a force that pushing me towards her again, i know that i still thinking of her, miss her so much, i thought really let her go already, but it all opposite of my thinking. aikss!! At the first time, i was really not thinking that i will be back to her, i give it a go, but the results was a bit of disappointed at the first time, i know that she has a bf that time too, so I would not force her so much too.
After last year end, i was in kl, i called her out to meet her for the last time, this time the meeting was between two very good friends, because i want to leave for study already, i really wanted to see her, see how was she doing. When i finally met her, the feeling all came back, really cant control the feeling, but then i didn't have the guts to tell her the feelings, i scare she reject me and i will feel sad again. After the meeting, i told her through text that what i feel towards her, but surprisingly she was not mad about it, also accepting me back, i do promise her a lot of things after the second time we being back together, because i was not around by her side by then, i so miss u so much my darling i love u so much sze hean !!!!